Am I Crazy? Or Just Insane?
by Nikkette
Summary: A bunch of oneshots featuring Kai and Caroline, ranging from slightly morbid to outright ridiculous. Kairoline.
1. You Can Live Without A Spleen

**A/N: I always thought my first Vampire Diaries fanfiction would be for Klaroline, since I love that pairing to death (seriously, I have never fangirled over two fictional characters so much) but after watching the 6th and 7th seasons I've found that I ship Caroline with just about everyone. I've supported Steroline, Forewood, Klaroline, Carenzo (which I was honestly disappointed to see _not_ happen), Koroline, Alaroline (I kind of wished Alaric could have gotten his perfect happy family), and now, Kairoline.**

 **I realize that there is literally NO love for this ship in the way of FanFiction save for one French fic, with little to be found on Tumblr and just a bit more on YouTube. However, I've always had an affinity for rare pairs, so I don't really mind XD I love Kai and I adore Caroline, so I'm writing for them to clear my system. Honestly I think they could be a pretty funny pair.**

 **Anyways, enjoy (or try to).**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

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Chapter One: You Can Live Without A Spleen

* * *

Red.

Red everywhere.

Vibrating floors.

Pounding music.

He had never been in a club before, but he already liked it.

People.

So many people.

Body after body packed together, barely enough room to breathe, let alone move.

 _Corpses_ , he thought. _Every last one._

Oh, the havoc he could wreak here. The damage he could do. The lives he could end.

 _Fun_.

He smirked to himself, continuing his way through the club. Suddenly, a part in the crowd, a clearing. And that's when he saw her.

Dancing, blonde hair streaked with neon-glow paint, skin covered in body glitter. Swaying with one of the corpses. She was breathtakingly beautiful, and that was saying something considering he had never had a thing for blondes. He stood there, rooted in place as he stared at the blonde beauty dancing with the corpse, the nobody. She swayed and twirled with him to the music and by chance and chance only, their eyes met.

She didn't know who he was and he didn't know her, but they stared for quite some time, both mutual in their appraisal of the other. She looked him up and down, and smirked - smirked - as her eyes went black and the veins near them pulsed to the surface of her skin. He watched, mesmerized as she bared her fangs and angled them towards the nobody's neck, but not biting down.

She was trying to scare him, he realized. Trying to freak him out. She thinks he's just another nobody, a corpse. Well. He'd show her.

Her interest in him faded once she didn't get the reaction she wanted, and went back to dancing, but Kai's interest in her had anything but faded. He'd show her. He would. He was nothing like these nobodies, these corpses. He was much, much more.

Energy coursing through him, he channeled the magic he'd absorbed from the barrier spell (it had been so long but even now it still felt as though it would be weeks before it wore off) gathering it up in his palms to the point where he struggled to contain it, and, giving one last look to the corpses around him, released it. A million colors played behind his eyes as he let go of the magic, its destructive power like lightning as it ran through the club. When he opened them, a hundred - no, two hundred - bodies lay still on the floor, toppled over each other like a pile of fleshy rubble.

He looked up, seeing the blonde beauty standing a few yards away, seeming closer now that there weren't so many people standing in the way. She stared at him, eyes black with anger.

He'd ruined her party.

He gingerly walked closer, stepping over, on the bodies as he admired his handiwork. Her dance partner, the nobody, lay at her feet, somehow still alive despite the spell he'd cast.

 _Probably something to do with her vampirism,_ he figured _. Must have protected him or something._

He tilted his head, kicked at the little nobody on the ground. He groaned in pain, eyes squeezed shut in agony.

"I think I may have ruptured his spleen." He said offhandedly, observing the corpse beneath his shoe.

"That's okay," she said, and he was surprised to hear her voice for the first time. Her eyes were alight with mischief. "He can live without one."

He looked at her and smirked.

This was the beginning of a wonderfully destructive relationship.


	2. Baby-Daddy

**A/N: 06/24/2017**

 **Thank you so much to guest and bexandcall for your reviews! I truly appreciate it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

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Chapter two: Baby-Daddy~

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Caroline laughed as she, Alaric and their daughters walked out of the movie theater, strolling lazily along the sidewalk.

"So what did you guys think?" She asked.

"I really liked it." Josette said happily, jumping a little with excitement.

"Me too!" Lizzie chimed in.

"Haha, good," Caroline smiled, patting their heads and smoothing their hair.

"Can we get ice cream now?" Josette asked.

"Oh, uhh...I don't know, honey. It's late..."

"But you promised," Lizzie reminded her.

Caroline looked to Alaric for help, who only smiled and shrugged.

"Alright, mommy'll take you guys to go get ice cream." He said, looking to Caroline. "I'm gonna go start the car. See you in a bit."

He leaned forward and kissed her on the top of her head, and she nodded. Grabbing hold of the twins' hands, she leaned down as they walked to whisper in their ears. "Okay, let's go get ice cream!"

They laughed amongst themselves and continued to walk down the street-lit sidewalk, going all the way to the end of the block and turning the corner. The ice cream vendor was just beginning to close up shop from the looks of it (the lights were out) and Caroline rushed to the window to place an order.

"Excuse me, could you get us two vanilla ice cream cones, please?"

"Coming right up," the ice cream man said, his back to them as he worked.

The girls began to jump with excitement, and Caroline smiled and jumped with them.

"Alright, here you are," the man said, turning around with their order.

He leaned over the counter and held out the cones, and Caroline's smile dropped when he came into the light. "Two vanilla ice cream cones, for the little angels."

"Kai..." She said breathlessly, eyes wide with fear.

"Hey! Long time, no see!" He smiled as the twins took their ice cream.

Caroline pushed the twins behind her as he slinked back into the darkness of the ice cream shop, reappearing moments later through a side door in the alley.

"Oh, you got a new hairstyle!" He remarked, still smiling. "I loved the old one!"

"What do you want, Kai?" She asked, expression guarded as she stood in front of the twins.

"To meet the two little adorable monsters that popped outta you, of course. Why else?" He answered, squatting down and waving at Lizzie and Josette. The girls happily licked away at their ice cream and waved back, oblivious to the danger they were in.

"Do you know him, mommy?" Lizzie asked.

Caroline looked down at her daughter. "Well, yes, but...it- it's a little complicated, sweetie..."

"Come on, guys," Kai invited. "Don't be shy. Come say hello to your mommy's old friend!"

Caroline tried to stop them from coming any closer to him- "Girls, no!" -but she was unable to catch hold of them in time. She watched as they trotted up to him with their ice cream cones and each shyly shook one of his hands, and she hoped to God that he wouldn't hurt them.

"Aww," he cooed, smiling at them before standing up. "So wait, does this make me their uncle? Or would it technically make me one of those 'family friends' that has close ties but nobody ever talks about?"

Caroline crossed her arms, irritation flaring despite her concern for the twins. "Kai-"

"Ooh, maybe a godfather!"

"What do you _want_ , Kai?" She asked again, patience waning.

"To meet the twins. Duh."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, and to kill you."

She immediately went on guard, adopting a fighting stance and getting ready to grab the twins and run for it.

"Oh, don't bother," Kai said. "I cloaked us so they can't hear what we're saying. As far as they know, we're smiling and chatting and talking about the weather."

She looked between him and her daughters, uncertainty clear on her face. She began going over a thousand different scenarios on how to get the twins away from him and get back to Alaric. She looked at the twins, seeing that they were as calm and happy as could be eating their ice cream.

"Really?" She asked, trying to keep him occupied. "You're seriously gonna pull a Rumplestiltskin and take my kids away?"

"Okay, one: they're not your kids. Two: no, I just wanted to see how you'd react."

He chuckled and she sighed, once again rolling her eyes as he placed his hands in his pockets.

"But no, in all seriousness, I do plan on taking over this little 'family unit' thing you've got going on here. I mean you _clearly_ don't know how to handle Gemini siphons, so..."

He shrugged and tilted his head, a 'you know' expression on his face.

Caroline crossed her arms. "Ric and I are managing just _fine_ , thank you."

"You think you are," he said, pointing at her. "But you really have no idea what you're doing, and I _will_ be taking the reigns on this one."

"So what, you're just gonna 'off' us both and hope the twins don't hate you for it? Nice parenting."

He held up a finger. "Correction, I'm going to take over as father-figure to the two little demons. And if that means taking Ric out of the picture, then yes. I will 'off' _him_."

Her eyebrows pinched together. "But not me?"

"Let's face it, without you, Ric wouldn't even _have_ twins right now. And I don't mean just because my coven zapped them into your belly."

She huffed.

"But no, honestly I think you and I would make a great team. And the age difference? Way less creepy."

She scoffed. "Yeah, your twenty- _plus_ years definitely trumps Alaric's fifteen."

He dramatically gestured a hand over his face, reminding her of a magician. "Less wrinkles, I win."

She glared at him, lost for words.

"So anyway, how do you want this to work? Should I be bad cop and you be good cop when they get into trouble, or...?"

She made a sound of annoyance and shook her head. She couldn't believe this...

"Or wait no, maybe that'd be too cliche. Maybe _I_ can be good cop and _you_ can be bad cop. They'll never see it coming-"

"Kai..."

"What's it gonna be, Clarice? I can either take the twins now and bring you with me, or I can kill you both when you try to resist and _still_ take the twins. Your pick. Personally, I'd go with option one." He smiled and blinked a few times, patiently waiting for her answer.

Caroline considered her options.

She could take the twins and run, probably, but if Kai was able to find them all the way down in Texas, she was sure he'd be able to find them again. She could try killing him - ripping his head off, maybe - but Damon had already done that and here he was, head still attached and still very much alive. Reasoning with him was almost completely out; he was a certified sociopath, and therefore any deal she tried to strike or reason she tried to point out would almost certainly be met with deaf ears.

No matter what she did, it was a lose-lose situation. She could strategize and fantasize all she wanted, but the fact was, her friends weren't there to help her, and she was just one vampire against a very powerful sorcerer. The best she could do was go along with what he wanted, at least until she figured out how to stop him.

"...So Ric won't be hurt?" She asked carefully, wanting assurance even though she knew it wouldn't mean squat if he decided he wanted to kill him anyway.

"Not a single hair on his middle-aged head." He promised, holding a hand over his heart.

She closed her eyes, steeling herself for what she was about to say. "...Okay. Okay, I'll come with you."

He smiled. "I knew you'd see reason. You may be blonde, but you're not _half_ as dim-witted as all those other folks you hang out with." He held out a hand and Caroline rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, stepping forward to take it.

"Think of it this way, Clarice," he said, and for one ridiculously silly moment she thought he was trying to comfort her. "Nothing's changed; you've just got a new baby-daddy."


	3. Just Bait

**A/N: 06/25/2017**

 **HCookie : Lol yeah I probably shoulda done something like that, after all Caroline's a perfectionist and I'm sure she wouldn't take too kindly to Kai's incorrect name for her XD Thanks so much for reviewing!**

 **I'm gonna warn you, this one's OOC (imo) but I thought it was a funny-ish idea.**

 **Also I don't know if anyone's interested but I do have this story up on Wattpad with little manips of Kai and Caroline for each chapter. Writing for this thing is so weirdly fun Idk what I'm gonna do, haha ;P**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

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Chapter three: Just Bait

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Caroline sighed as she followed none other than Kai Parker through an empty house on one of the many now-abandoned streets of Mystic Falls.

The witch-siphon had approached her with the proposition of showing her a magical artifact that she and her friends could use to get Damon and Stefan's not-so-dead mother and her family of crazy witch-vampire-siphons out of Mystic Falls for good and get their town back. She was skeptical, of course, as in not believing him for a second, even if he _had_ gotten some of his younger brother's more positive qualities and somehow convinced Bonnie of all people to let him live.

But he'd been persistent if nothing else, and after over an hour of him following her around and talking about how 'great' this artifact was, she'd relented and agreed to go to wherever it was that he'd supposedly stashed it. Though she knew it wasn't smart (at like, _all_ ) she told herself it wasn't overly stupid either; after all, if he killed her, her friends would most definitely make sure he never saw the light of day again. Hell, Bonnie would probably murder him herself and save everyone else the trouble. Still, a lead was a lead, even if it _did_ come from someone like Kai Parker. They were desperate, out of options, and that can make people do all sorts of crazy things.

Like follow a known serial killer into a creepy abandoned house.

"Okay, so where's this _super useful artifact_ thing you've been talking about for the past hour?" She asked finally as they descended the set of stairs leading to the basement.

"Oh, that?" He said, not bothering to look back at her. "That was just bait to get you down here."

Her mouth fell open and she scoffed, pausing on the steps.

"And the _cookies?_ " She accused.

He turned and smiled up at her. "Almost done."

She tilted her head and pursed her lips at him.

Kai waved her forward, disappearing into the dark as he encouraged her further into the basement. "Come on, lets go."

His tone was a little too happy for her tastes, a little too giddy, but she also realized that this was _Kai_ and he's crazy, and he's always been crazy, even after the merge with his brother, and so decided not to make much of it. Ducking underneath the staircase to peek into the basement, Caroline searched the room before deciding to go any further.

Her eyes didn't have to adjust to the darkness like Kai's probably did, so it didn't take her as long to make the decision to proceed as she would were she human. It was nothing special, just your average run-of-the-mill basement with a table, tv, and a couch with a bunch of crumpled up papers everywhere. Nothing exceptionally cool save for the amount of space. No traps (that she could see) but she had a hunch that Luke's empathy bleeding over from the merge had kept him from doing anything too dastardly to anyone.

Her high-heeled sandals thumped against the carpeted floor as she took the last step, and she flapped her arms up in exasperation before letting them slap back against her sides. She really was too fabulously dressed to be wasting her day like this. Dusty old basements were no place for jeggings and blouses.

" _Well?_ " She said, irritation clear in her voice. "Care to explain to me what I'm doing in a dusty old basement when I _should_ be out shopping with my best friend?"

"Well duh, you thought following me to an unknown location would be more _exciting_." He said simply.

She exhaled and crossed her arms.

"Come on, I wanna show you something."

Her eyebrows rose. "Oh- _now_ you've got something to show me?"

He ignored her, walking to the far corner of the room where a large rectangular object - a picture frame, probably - sat covered by a tarp against the wall.

Resisting the urge to groan like a pre-adolescent teenager, Caroline slumped her shoulders and followed after him, coming to stand a few feet beside the young siphon as she waited for something _freaking spectacular_ to happen, because God forbid if this was all in vain.

"Okay, you ready?" He asked, clearly excited as he looked back at her.

She shook her head. " _Yeah_. I've _been_ ready for the past hundred years, gosh, get on with it."

"Okay." He bounced a bit like a boxer or athlete, as if trying to prepare himself for whatever it was that was on the other side of the tarp. "...Whew, this is way more exciting than I'd pictured it. I'm so nervous. Here look, I'm shaking-"

"On with it!" She shouted, ready to super-speed out of the room due to boredom alone.

Seemingly pleased with her impatience, Kai rushed forward and grabbed hold of the tarp, yanking it off in one smooth motion.

Caroline's mouth fell open at what she saw, and her mood changed faster than flipping her humanity switch.

It wasn't a picture frame that rested against the wall, but a large canvas; bright, vibrant paints slathered its surface at most every corner - of oil or acrylic, she couldn't tell - and though it barely held a candle to a certain other artist she knew, it was admittedly very, very good.

But it wasn't the quality, or the color scheme, or even the mere _existence_ of the painting that caused her jaw to drop and her eyes to widen; it was the subject matter. Because there, etched permanently onto the canvas with brush and pigment, was her. It was her own face that she was staring at, her own likeness she was admiring. And _that was_ enough to confuse the hell out of most anyone.

Caroline's jaw bounced up and down, stuttering for words. "I...I..."

"Pretty amazing, right?" He said, brows raised. "Did you know that Luke was an _excellent_ artist? I didn't know that."

Caroline blinked, still having trouble finding her voice. "I...it's, um...pr- pretty amazing, yeah."

Had he...had he _done this for her?_

 _No way,_ her conscience chided. _There is no way that_ Kai Parker _took the time to make this thing. It's a mistake. Computing error. Abort. Abort._

But it _wasn't_ a mistake, and he had made this with his own two hands (as far as she could tell, anyways), this beautiful thing that was sitting here before her in all its bright, colorful glory. What worm hole did she step into to end up in a world where notorious witch siphon Kai Parker painted things for her?

She snapped herself out of her daze and cleared her throat. She had to be practical about this. No matter how good of a painting it was. "Wow, Kai, I...I don't know what to say...it's... _really_ good."

Kai smiled, hands on his hips as he swayed a bit like a little five year-old. "Yeah...so do you think Bonnie will like it?"

The corners of her mouth froze, and her eyes snapped to his boyish form in slight accusation. "'Bonnie'?"

"Yeah," he said, still looking at the painting. "I figured maybe if I painted one of her best friends I could get back on her good side. Not that she ever had one to begin with, but..."

Whatever hint of a smile was beginning to form on her lips dropped immediately, and the sense of flattery and tranquility she'd felt while staring at the painting disappeared faster than the drop of a hat. Why that little-

"So I was thinking about maybe adding some highlights here and there," he explained, breaking her train of thought as he moved his hand over different areas of the painting. "Maybe a few more colors for the backdrop. What do you think?"

He turned to look at her, one hand propping up the elbow of his opposite arm as his fingers rested beneath his chin, and Caroline was suddenly livid.

"So you dragged me all the way down here just to judge your artwork?"

"Well yes," he said, looking up thoughtfully. "But I also needed to make sure I got the proportions right. I mean, I _was_ going off memory here, so..." he trailed off, examining her face. "Hmm, looks like I might need to make the chin a bit stronger."

He reached up to cup her jaw and she immediately slapped his hand away. Grabbing him by the collar, she shoved him up against the wall adjacent to his painting.

Kai's own eyes went wide, but not for his own safety.

"Woah, take it easy, the paint's not dry!"

"You've got problems, you know that?" She snapped.

"Yes, mommy."

She slammed him harder into the wall and his hands came up, palms out in surrender.

"Hey, if you don't like it I can start over-"

"That's not what I'm talking about, you little stain! I'm talking about you _wasting_ my time!"

He said nothing in response and Caroline glared at him before roughly releasing him and taking a few steps back, anger dying down into mere irritation. Having had enough, she huffed and turned on her heel to leave. It figured that he'd just want to mess with her head and waste her time.

The sound of Kai's laughter rang throughout the basement, and she just barely stopped herself from turning back around and ripping out his tongue.

"Wait, wait, I'm kidding! It is for you! Aw, you shoulda seen the look on your face!"

Stopping just shy of the steps, she whirled back around to face him, patience wearing incredibly thin. "Is there a _point_ to any of this?"

Kai's laughter slowly died, but a smile still graced his lips. "Well yeah, I wanted to give you my painting."

Her eyes narrowed. "And _why_ would you want to do something like that?"

"Well it can't possibly be because I merged with my younger brother and now I have all of these...'feelings', as you call them, that I need to get out."

"Well, why me?" She prodded further. "Why not Bonnie or Elena or... _Damon?_ Why would you want to get on _my_ good side?"

"Who said I wanted to get on anyone's good side?" He challenged. "Maybe my annoying little brother inside of me just wanted to do something nice for you, since I'm...you know. Kind of the reason your mom's dead."

Pain flashed across her features, but she only felt anger for him bringing it up.

"Plus word from the grapevine is that you turn to mush over art from good looking guys, so."

She felt compelled to ask who he had gotten that information from, but she supposed it was really no secret that the world's most dangerous hybrid had vied for her affections. Her eyes drifted over to the painting, and she crossed her arms.

"You can't possibly mean to give this to me out of the goodness of your heart."

Kai held up a finger. "You're right, I absolutely don't."

"Then what do you want?" She asked. "A magical device? My friends? _Information?_ "

He smiled. "Kiss me."

She blinked at him, taken aback. "Ah...wh- what?"

"You heard me," he said, taking a step closer. "You give me a kiss, and I'll give you my gallery-worthy painting. It's a done deal."

Her face contorted in confusion and disgust. "Look, if _you_ think for one _second_ that I'm going to-"

Her sentence was cut off by Kai's lips suddenly pressing into hers, and she was so shell shocked that she just stood there, rooted to her spot like a statue as his hands came up to cup her face and he applied a bit more pressure.

"Muah." He smiled dramatically as he drew back, still cupping her face. "There. Now was that so hard?"

Caroline was so dazed, she couldn't even _begin_ to form a reply-

 _Ding!_

"Oh! Cookies are done!"


	4. Top Chef

**A/N: 06/26/2017**

 **HCookie : Oh, thank you so much, I'm glad you thought the last chapter was in-character! And yes, it makes total sense! Between his unpredictable craziness and her skittish neuroticism I feel like they balance each other out in a nice, fun way :)**

 **CandyJMF : I know right?! Lol I'm a hard Klaroline shipper as well, but there's just something about Kai and Caroline that I just love. Not sure what a drab king is (?) but I'm really glad you like my oneshots! Thank you! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

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Chapter four: Top Chef

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" _No_."

He made a face. "Aw, c'mon. Pretty please?"

She wrinkled her nose at him. "I said no."

Kai sighed and stood to his full height, putting the spoon he was holding back in the bowl of stew on the nearby table behind him.

"Please? I just want you to try it. It's not gonna kill you." He paused, thinking for a second. "I mean, it...can't anyway, cuz you're a vampire. But you know what I mean."

Caroline shook her head, tugging at her restraints. "I still can't believe you drugged me with vervain and tied me to a chair in your basement just to taste your _cooking_."

He wagged a chastising finger at her. "Well, this all could have been avoided if you would've just accepted my offer in the first place instead of insulting me."

She gaped at him. "Saying 'no thanks' is not an insult."

"Saying 'no' period is an insult to any chef."

He bent down to the bowl and got a healthy amount of stew into the spoon, raising it to his lips and slurping it down. He licked his lips and smiled pleasantly (annoyingly so) down at her.

She scoffed. "Oh, _really?_ A _chef?_ Where's your degree in Culinary Arts? Because I'd love to see it."

"Oh, so we need _degrees_ to be successful now? That's the world we live in? Would you ask David Bowie or Jimi Hendrix for their degrees in music?"

Her face wrinkled. " _God_ , you're old."

He licked the spoon clean and pointed it at her. "And _that_ , my little Clarice, is the exact same attitude that got you into this situation in the first place. Now come on. Open up."

He got another helping of stew and leaned forward, lifting it to her mouth. He cradled the bottom of the spoon with his other hand to guard from spills, and Caroline angled her head away.

He pouted. "Come on, just one bite."

"Ew, no. You licked out of it!"

He rolled his eyes. "What are we, fourth graders? Come on, let's go."

She kept her head angled, still not looking at him despite his eerily encouraging tone.

"I won't kill all your frieeeends?"

She tried to keep a straight face but ultimately pursed her lips, annoyed with herself for giving in. "Oh... _fine_."

He uttered a hushed 'yes!' in victory before inching the spoon closer to her mouth. Caroline stared at the mystery stew for a moment - it did smell mouthwateringly delicious, even to a vampire such as herself, but she'd never admit to it - before opening her mouth in surrender. Kai took advantage of the opportunity before it was gone and all but shoved the spoon into her mouth, his own lips parted in a happy grin.

It tasted absolutely amazing.

Human food had lost some of its flavor since she had turned, but this was...wow. It was almost as if she were human again. Don't get her wrong, she never expected it to be bad. She just...hadn't expected it to be this good.

"Okay, _chew_..." Kai said, making circular motions with his free hand.

Caroline did as she was told, slowly chewing through the meat and vegetables and unknown spices in her mouth that were alarmingly pleasing to her tastebuds, but maintained a straight face to keep him from thinking he'd won her over with his cooking (even though he pretty much had). She possessed far too much pride to let him win, even over something as trivial as stew.

"Aaand swallow." He ordered, pinching his thumb and forefinger together.

She obeyed, just barely keeping herself from closing her eyes and licking the insides of her mouth to get some of the flavor back. She looked up to see Kai standing over her, arms out at the elbows as he gave her a 'ta-dah' kind of smile.

"Well?"

Caroline straightened in her chair, holding her head high. "...It was alright."

His eyes narrowed to slits and suddenly he was on her, face millimeters away from hers, hands clenched on the wooden armrests of the chair.

"Now, now, Clarice. Don't be shy. _What_ _did_ _you_ _think?_ "

She glared at him before bursting, "... _Fine!_ I _liked_ your stupid stew, okay?!"

He launched himself away from her and clapped his hands, hollering in victory. "Woo! _There_ it is! That's what I'm looking for!"

She rolled her eyes and looked away, only to lock eyes with him once again as he leaned closer.

"Now was that so hard?"

She pursed her lips and slanted her jaw. "Just get me out of this stupid chair."

He stepped back and took another dip from the bowl, bringing up a hearty amount with the spoon. "Oh, so you... _don't_ want the rest of it?"

She stared at the morsel, all too aware of the juicy meat and stew dripping from the spoon, and couldn't help but swallow at the thought of another bite. Hell, another _few_ bites. But doing so would mean he'd won, and she'd be damned if she was going to let Kai Parker feed her like an infant while tied to a chair.

Kai jutted out his bottom lip, looking away as though pretending to think. "...Okay." He shrugged and dropped the spoon into the bowl and moved to put it away somewhere, probably the sink.

"Wait!"

He paused dramatically, turning around with the biggest grin she'd ever seen.

"Ugh! Okay, _fine_. What's the catch?"

"No catch," he said. "Just let me move in with you."

Her eyes nearly burst from their sockets. "What?!"

"Hear me out," he said, putting a hand out in front of him to try and (unsuccessfully) calm her down. "You give me a place to stay for a few weeks and I make you amazing dishes all the time. It's a win-win for both of us!"

She squinted at him, tilting her head. "Just because you absorbed some of your brother's good qualities doesn't make you a good person."

He ignored her comment, moving around to whisper down in her ear. "You wanna know why it tastes so good?" His warm breath tickled her ear, and she didn't even bother asking because she knew he was going to tell her anyway. "Because it's made with blood."

Her eyes widened and she could feel herself losing the slightest bit of control. The veins near her eyes rose to the surface of her skin and her gums itched as her fangs grew in length. Kai abruptly pulled away and strolled back to the table, acting as though it was nothing special that he had created something so ridiculously tasty and clearly tailored to her 'needs'.

"Marinated in it, actually. Ever heard of duck soup?"

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" She asked, brows pinched. "Kidnap the vampire with the most control and make her go crazy?"

He looked down and waved a hand, as though to clear the air of her words. "More like, kidnap the snooty vampire with the biggest 'holier-than-thou' attitude and make them bow down to my skills of cuisine. But we can go with yours if you want."

She huffed, staring at him for a long time. Thinking.

"...So I let you share a roof with me, and you make me more stuff like that?"

She nodded to the bowl behind him, and he smiled. "Better."

She looked to the ceiling and heaved a giant sigh, not really caring in the least that it put a strain on her arms and shoulder blades.

"...Okay. But if I die from your cooking, I am going to come back as a ghost and I will _haunt_ you for the rest of your life. Got it?"

He flashed a smile, winking at her. "Wouldn't have it any other way."


	5. Vampire Kisses Are The Best Around

**A/N: 06/27/2017**

 **FanFicNerdMeep : Omg you're too kind! Thank you! (=^=) I totally agree, Caroline's about the only one who could really keep up with Kai. They really shouldn't work but like you said, they do!**

 **CandyJMF : Lol don't worry about it, we've all posted typos in our reviews at some point or other ;P Glad you liked the chapter! Kai is indeed extremely attractive lol.**

 **TheConjuringMind : Thank you so much or your reviews! They made my day :)**

 **HCookie : Thanks for your review! I actually do plan on doing more romance-based drabbles here soon, as well as some possessive!Kai. I just love the humor aspect of them as a pair so I wrote those ones first. This one's sort of romantic, though, so maybe you'll like this one :3**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter five: Vampire Kisses Are The Best Around

* * *

Kai Parker was _not_ a romantic.

He wasn't into all that 'flowers' and 'chocolates' and 'gifts' stuff. Even before he had been banished by his family to the 1994 prison world, he had never really been interested in girls or relationships. Granted, he had only been twenty-one at the time (and technically still was) and the only females he had ever really been allowed to go around were his mother and sisters, but case in point, it had never really been high on his priority list. Or like, on his priority list at all.

However, now that he'd been rescued (courtesy of the lovely Bennett witch Bon-Bon) he had the world back at his fingertips again. And damned if it didn't feel amazing. He could talk to people again, torture people again, kill people again...and now that he had a million more options available to him, kiss people again. Well, not again. He'd never kissed anyone to begin with. But that was besides the point.

The main thing was that he could do whatever he wanted now that he was free to roam the earth again. And what he wanted at the moment, was a kiss. But not just any kiss, mind you. He wasn't interested in nabbing the first floozy he came across and wasting his first kiss on a _nobody_. And he was far past the notion of having one of those nasty things called a 'relationship'. No, he wanted one of those over-the-top, fireworks-in-your-belly romance type kisses, the ones that leave you breathless and dizzy and wanting more. The ones he'd come across in books and seen in movies. He wanted his first kiss to be with someone top dollar, cream of the crop, the best of the best. Preferably someone he knew so it wasn't so awkward.

But he only knew three females at the moment, and one was taken and the other hated him. So that left him with only one choice. One beautiful, bouncy, bubbly, utterly blonde choice.

Kai watched from his place in the alley of what used to be the Mystic Grill, observing Caroline Forbes going about her merry way. She was 'texting' as it was called, communicating with someone through a mobile phone. Who? He had no idea. One of her friends, probably.

He was well aware of her beauty, her single status and know-it-all attitude, and he realized that it would be very hard to convince her to be within five feet of him, let alone kiss him. But he had to try. And Kai Parker wasn't going to settle for anything less than what he wanted.

 _Besides_ , he thought. _I_ _hear_ _vampires_ _kiss_ _better_ _than_ _any_ _other_ _being_ _on_ _the_ _planet_.

Caroline jay-walked across the street, unknowingly coming closer to him. He held his breath, waiting for the right moment when she passed the small gap between buildings where he was hiding in the shadows, and when it came, he pounced; before she could say another word, he grabbed hold of her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and his hand over her mouth as he dragged her into the alley.

She muffled a scream through his hand and the adrenaline from it all caused him to accidentally begin to siphon her, the magic protecting her vampirism seeping wonderfully through his veins. He would have gotten lost in it had he not been so adamant about wanting that kiss.

"Mmmph, what is your _problem?!_ " She shrieked as she tore away from him.

He didn't respond immediately, the buzz of the siphon still messing with his head a bit, giving him a power trip. He suppressed a growl at being so momentarily powerful he just wanted to _destroy_ something, closing his eyes and letting it fade before replying.

"Well, _that_ wasn't how I'd planned on this going."

Caroline swayed a bit, leaning against the wall opposite him for support. "Not how you'd planned? Wha...what are you talking about?"

Kai gave her a once-over, taking note of her weakened state. Well. Maybe this would work out after all.

"Oh, nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Just a quick experiment."

He took a step closer, probably menacingly due to the power surge she'd given him, and she moved back in alarm.

"Wait, what are you-"

He pressed his lips to hers without further warning, backed her into the brick wall. The meeting of their lips was everything he'd imagined it to be, everything he'd read about, everything he'd seen. Hell, _more_. He'd been hoping for the fireworks and the sparks, expecting them, actually, but this was a thousand times better. This was explosions and lightning and molten lava raining down on him, filling his head and pooling in his gut. And coupled with the rush from his siphon it was a damn near overload. He supposed they were right: vampires really were the best kissers on the planet.

Caroline tried to fend him off but he made short work of that plan, grabbing hold of her arms and raising them above her head, the excitement causing him to siphon. She moaned but not with pleasure, he knew because getting siphoned hurt like a bitch. Or so he'd observed. He continued to kiss her, lost in feeling. He couldn't help himself as he let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a sigh, and in his frenzy he let go of her arms and cupped her face, fingers delving into her curls.

She must have been pretty weak from the siphon, because she began to slump against the wall, and he quickly wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her upright. He knew he was pressing his luck - her strength would be returning soon - but he couldn't find it in himself to stop just yet. Curiosity getting the better of him, he swiftly moved to kiss the corner of her mouth, her jaw. He began trailing short kisses down her neck, idly wondering if she could hear the pounding of his heart right now, sense the adrenaline burning through his veins. Finally satisfied, he slowed to a halt, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes for a moment.

"So that's what it's like," he said breathlessly, more to himself than her.

Caroline was equally breathless, and when he opened his eyes he saw she was staring back at him through half-lidded eyes, clearly drained of energy. Whether it was from the siphon or the kiss, though, he couldn't tell.

 _Maybe_ _a_ _bit_ _of_ _both_ , he thought.

"What is...wrong with you?" She asked weakly, her voice a whisper.

Kai smiled, unable to help himself. "The same thing that's wrong with you, Clarice."

She didn't bother asking him just what that was, she already knew the answer. At least he assumed she did. He thought it was pretty obvious. Though to be fair, he supposed that statement encompassed a plethora of things; they were both single, they were both stuck living in a world full of things that shouldn't exist, including themselves.

But really, he just meant that they were both overwhelmed by the kiss. At least he was. And as odd as it sounded, he hoped she was, too. He couldn't explain it, but he felt inexplicably vulnerable, as though he'd just shared something intimate with someone else and hoped he wouldn't be ridiculed or laughed at. Was that normal? Was this what humans felt like 24/7 being in love? Because if that was the case, he'd pass on that. He'd take a _very_ hard pass on that.

Caroline rolled her eyes, looking elsewhere. Kai, finding himself wanting to be the main focal point of her attention, asked, "So be honest, how was it?"

Her eyes snapped to his, giving him a look. "Which part, the kidnapping or the siphoning? Because neither were overly pleasant."

Oh yeah. That.

"I mean the kiss," he specified.

She rolled her eyes again, and he could tell that her strength was returning. And when it did, he'd have to haul ass out of there.

"If I say it was good will you let me go?"

"If I find out you lied to me will I kill all your friends?" He shot back, leaning back to get a better look at her and tilting his head.

She stared at him a few moments before making an 'ugh' sound and relenting. "Fine, it was _jaw_ - _droppingly_ amazing. There, happy?"

He smiled and let out a breath, feeling strangely as though a weight had been lifted. "Thank you for your participation in the Let's Kiss Kai experiment. Don't forget to grab a free pamphlet on your way out."

He released her and stepped back, and he knew that when she had no trouble righting herself, he'd have to leave very, very soon.

"Do I get a _cookie?_ " She smiled sarcastically, clearly not amused as she dusted herself off.

"After you've filled out your 'five times and it's free' rewards card," he replied cockily, winking at her. "Wanna cash another one in now?"

She wiped at her mouth, disgust written on her features. "Ew."

He smirked. " _You_ say ew, _I_ say if you ever tell anyone about this I'll turn your blood to acid."

"Please, as if I would ever tell anyone that I kissed _Kai_ _Parker_ ," she said, fixing her hair.

"Keep telling yourself that."

Caroline faced him head on now, and he knew that his time had run out.

"Well, it's been fun, but-" he raised an arm to look at an invisible watch. "-wouldn't you know it, I've gotta go...'til next time, Clarice."

He winked and Caroline lunged for him, but he was already gone.

She looked around, searching for him even though she knew she'd never find him with the cloaking spell he'd cast on himself, before finally huffing and giving up.

Kai watched as she went on her merry way again, admiring her retreating form. She may have thought it was all said and done, but he had the feeling that even she knew better.

There would be a next time.

And a few times after that.

And after he'd gotten four more kisses, there'd be cookies, too.

After all, who was he to turn down a challenge?


	6. The Jar

**A/N: 06/28/2016 This one was actually a prompt I found on Tumblr by otpisms, which you can see at the bottom of this chapter, as I don't want to totally spoil it for you. This is honestly my favorite oneshot that I've written so far, so I hope you guys like it.**

 **CandyJMF : ASDFDGJKL THANK YOU. I am genuinely flattered that you liked the last chapter so much. Seriously. And to say that I add more to Kai's character than the TVD writers did? Shoot, I might as well die happy now. Lol. Don't sweat trying to think of any scenarios, no biggie. I'll be sure to write something for jealous/possessive Kai for you!**

 **HCookie : Thank you! Glad to know you think I write Kai well!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaires.**

* * *

Chapter six: The Jar

* * *

Kai whistled a happy tune to himself as he worked his way around the Forbes's kitchen, intent on making himself a sandwich.

Ever since Bonnie had taken mercy on him back in the 1903 prison world and decided to let him live, he'd been determined to show her as well as the rest of the Scooby gang (as he had nicknamed them) that he was no longer a threat to society or the world as they knew it. Of course, it was easier said than done, but he had convinced them to let him live in Caroline's childhood home because apparently to them, who better to keep track of a former psychopath than a neurotic (but admittedly hot) control freak?

He danced his way around the kitchen, opening up the cupboards and taking out a plate and a loaf of bread.

At first he had been irritated with the after-effects of his merge with his younger brother, but as time passed he found that he actually didn't mind it. It was a lot easier living in the 2000's with empathy and compassion and common sense and all that other junk, he had to admit. Setting the bread and plate down on the counter, he opened one of the drawers and pulled out a knife and spoon, setting them down as well. He then got out the peanut butter and jelly, taking the knife and spreading the peanut butter on one slice of bread.

He changed his whistle to a hum as he moved onto the jar of jelly, fingers clamping around the lid and twisting-

He stopped humming.

Huh. That was funny. Usually he could get these things open, no problem.

He tried again, applying a bit more pressure. Still no budge. Spying a hand towel, he grabbed it and put it over the lid, attempting to achieve better grip. Still nothing.

 _Dammit_ , he thought. _What the hell?_

Setting the jar down, he leaned his hands against the counter and stared down at it, thinking.

Surely a _vampire_ could get this thing open. Super strength and all that. Right?

"Hey, Clarice?" He yelled.

He expected her to reply from somewhere within the house with an, "I'm busy," or something like that, but he was met with silence.

Oh. Right.

She was off running 'errands'.

Which even he was smart enough to know that almost 100% meant she was trying to find a way to stop the impending doom of the planet with her friends. Again. He sighed to himself. Stared down at the jam jar. Relenting, he pulled his phone out from his back pocket and turned it on, maneuvering his way to Caroline's number. He tapped away on the touch screen and hit 'send', and waited for a reply. Which, with someone like Caroline, never took more than a few seconds.

 _What do you want?_ _I'm_ _busy_.

He rolled his eyes. Of course.

 _But_ _I_ _need_ _you_ , he texted back, hitting send. Pausing, he added, _Please_ , _it's_ _an_ _emergency_.

Again, he waited, and after a few moments, her reply appeared below his.

 _Fine_. _I'll_ _be_ _there in a sec_.

Satisfied, Kai set down his phone on the counter and leaned against it, waiting. No sooner had he put it down had Caroline whooshed into the room, her vampire speed truly a gift to behold.

"Okay, I'm here," she announced. "Now what's the emergency?"

He looked up innocently at her, then pointedly at the jar on the counter.

She looked down at the offending item, not quite understanding what he was getting at.

"Could you open that for me, please?"

It took all of point-two seconds for Caroline's face to twist into an expression of disgust and disbelief. "Ugh! Are you _kidding_ me?! You called me over here to open a JAR?"

"I know, right! I can't believe it either!" He laughed, holding his arms out in a 'who knew?' manner.

"You do realize that I was in the middle of something important, right?" She said, brows raised. "The whole _world_ could be ending now that you've decided to waste my time."

He shrugged. "Consider yourself flattered. You were my first choice when I ran into trouble."

She tried to act as though it meant next to nothing, but he knew his compliment had gotten to her. Finally giving in, she crossed her arms and threw her head back like a whiny teenager. "Uuuugh. Give it here."

She reached for the jar and Kai happily gave it to her, expecting nothing short of the extraordinary when she gripped the lid and gave it a twist.

His expectations were dashed, however, when he heard her grunt in frustration, as even she seemed to be having trouble opening the damn thing.

"Uhn," she grunted, perfect eyebrows knitting in frustration. "What did you do to this thing?"

"Nothing!" He admitted, finding himself perplexed as to why even one of the strongest beings on the planet couldn't get it open.

He watched as the blonde vamp struggled a bit more, clearly exerting herself. He could practically feel her temperature rise as her frustration grew.

"Nyugh! Okay, you know what?"

Without warning, Caroline grabbed hold of the jar and smashed it against the side of the counter, breaking it into a million pieces. Glass and jelly flew everywhere, and the high-pitched sound hurt Kai's ears, causing him to wince.

She smiled brightly, back to her usual bubbly self. "There!"

She abruptly turned and walked out of the room, leaving Kai alone in the kitchen with two slices of bread and a busted jelly jar.

He blinked rapidly, staring at the pile of jelly on the counter, before taking his hand and scooping some of it onto his sandwich.

"Thank you!" He yelled.

After finally completing his sandwich, Kai ventured to the dining room to enjoy it. He had just taken his second bite when his phone buzzed. Curious, he pulled it from his pocket and opened the message, which read:

 _Okay_ , _so_ _apparently_ _Damon_ _thought_ _it_ _would_ _be_ _a_ _great_ _idea_ _to_ _put_ _super_ - _glue_ _on_ _all_ _of_ _the_ _jelly_ _jars_. _I'll buy some more when I get_ _home_ , _change the deed to the house_ _if I have to. P.S: don't_ _open the_ _pork_ _rinds_.

He paused, jaws grinding to a halt as he glanced over at the half-eaten bag of pork rinds on the table next to his sandwich.

Uh-oh.

* * *

 **A/N: Prompt** **#90: Imagine Person A trying to open a jar, but it's stuck so they call Person B to open it for them. Bonus points if when Person B opens it, A mumbles to themselves "I loosened it." Bonus-bonus points if Person B can't open it either, so they just break the jar.**


	7. The Headache

**A/N: 06/29/2017 This idea just kind of hit me at the most random time, don't really have an explanation for it. I just thought it would be kinda cute.**

 **Also, fun fact: I had originally planned for Kai to call Caroline Carebear as a nickname, so every time you see Clarice that's where Carebear was originally supposed to be. But I remembered that's what Damon calls her, and then I saw the scene where Kai was all, "Hello, Clarice." and thought it was adorable so I went with that.**

 **Thank you CandyJMF and HCookie once again for your reviews! Damon is indeed a pain in the butt, lol. Even I don't know what was in those porkrinds... O_O**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter seven: The Headache

* * *

Caroline groaned, pouting as she closed her eyes and rubbed at her temple.

She had woken up with a headache, and a bad one, at that. In fact, it was more like a super-charged migraine with her vampiric sensitivities. It was so bad that she hadn't even gotten up, just laid in bed until Bonnie found her. The Bennett witch had asked her what was wrong, and when Caroline had told her, she immediately tried every spell she could think of that would take it away. Because apparently vampires having headaches was _not_ normal.

This, of course, freaked out Caroline, because she didn't know how she had gotten it or why, and if _Bonnie-freaking-Bennett_ couldn't fix it, there was hardly a being in the world that could.

"I can think of one person, _one_ , who might be able to help," she'd said.

And so Caroline waited, alone and miserable in her bed, while Bonnie went to get help.

"Uhhhhhhghh..."

She scrunched her eyebrows together and shut her eyes, covering her face with her hand. Man, this headache was even starting to make her sensitive to _light_. Er, more sensitive. Whatever. She contemplated going over to shut the blinds, but any thoughts of doing so were cut off as a figure entered the room.

"Clariiice!" Kai chimed excitedly, strutting in past the doorway with an annoyed Bonnie trailing behind. "Long time, no see! How's it goin'?"

Caroline blinked, eyebrows pinching even further together (if that were possible). "What is _he_ doing here?!"

"He's the other option," Bonnie explained, crossing her arms. "Sorry, Care. He was the only solution I could think of."

"And I am flattered," Kai said with false sincerity, placing a hand on his chest. "Especially since this little side gig gets me inside Caroline _Forbes's_ room! I always wondered what it looked like in here...ooh, is that a diary?"

He reached towards a book lying on her bedside table, and she immediately slapped his hand away.

"Ow!"

"Don't touch!"

Kai cradled his stinging hand, pouting a moment before returning to normal.

"Well, anyway, back to business. What's the emergency?"

"Caroline has a headache," Bonnie said simply.

He blinked several times in succession. "Ooookay. What does that have to do with me?"

"I think it's a supernatural headache. Something magic-related. And...I figured that since you're a witch siphon, you'd be able to take it away. Or at least take the edge off." She explained.

Kai sighed and shook his head, as though all of this new information had thrown him for a loop. "Well, _that's_ not a lot of pressure."

Clearing his throat and tugging at his collar, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to Caroline, twisting around to face her. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, before Kai opened his mouth to break the awkwardness.

"Soooo what am I doing, exactly?"

Frustrated, Caroline burst, "I don't know! Just do your witch-y thing and siphon it off!"

"You do realize that headaches are normal, right?" He said.

"And you realize that being a vampire _isn't_ , right?" She shot back. "I haven't had a single headache since I turned. So for me, this is _not_ normal."

His eyebrows jumped, clearly keeping his next thoughts to himself. "Well, okay..."

He threw his arms out and fluffed his hands like a magician, bringing them up to either side of Caroline's head.

"Now keep in mind, this miiiight hurt a little."

"It can't possibly hurt any more than this headache, now please, just, _go_."

He gave her a look that said 'well, alright', and proceeded with what he was about to do next. Closing his eyes and concentrating, he began to slowly siphon the magic from her mysterious headache. Caroline made a quiet sound, like a wince, but he paid it no mind as he continued on. He wasn't quite sure how it felt on her end, but the whole thing felt strangely intimate to him. Like he was sharing something that wasn't meant to be shared with just anyone. Which was strange, considering he'd siphoned countless other magical beings and never felt the same effect, but he decided to let the notion slide and concentrate on what he was doing.

After a few minutes, he felt the magic from whatever was ailing her fade, and he let go before he started siphoning off her vampiric magic and Bonnie decided to end him then and there.

"Okay," he said, eyes darting a bit uncomfortably. "Is it gone now?"

Caroline rubbed her temple. "...Yeah. Yeah, actually. It's...it's gone! My headache, it's gone!"

She smiled and looked to Bonnie, who returned her happiness and went in for a hug (which Kai was deliberately left out of). Blinking a few times to clear the awkwardness for himself, he cleared his throat and stood up from the bed, swinging his arms about in a bored manner.

"Well, there ya go. Thank you for choosing Kai Medical! Side effects may include sneezing, twitching, internal itching, bloodlust, spontaneous combustion, and an uncontrollable need to thank me."

The two friends broke apart and he winked at Caroline, which brought him an eye roll.

"Ugh. _Thank_ you, Kai."

"My God, the side effects are already setting in."

"Shut up. I said thank you."

"Anytime, Clarice," he said, smiling and winking again.

This time he got a half-smile from her.

Which, in his book, was as good as he could hope for.


	8. I'll Feng Your Shui

**A/N: 06/30/2017 This one is another prompt from otpisms on Tumblr:**

 **#74: imagine your otp lives together. Person A goes to get groceries and comes back to see Person B has moved all the furniture around.**

 **CandyJMF : yeah I planned on posting once a day, but I thought maybe that was too often so I decided to wait a little bit before posting the next one. I'm glad you're enjoying these, though! :D**

 **FanficNerdMeep : Haha oh, you're too kind XD I agree, there are countless scenarios that can be done with these two. In all honesty most of these oneshots _are_ actually connected, they're just not posted in order. And yeah, I don't think Kai is much of a romantic, so if he did develop a liking for Caroline I think it would be kind of a destructive and humorous and awkward thing, which is what I've tried to illustrate with this fic series.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter eight: I'll Feng your Shui

* * *

Caroline huffed as she got out of her car, arms weighed down with countless grocery bags.

Kai had asked her to get food (well, complained was more like it) and so she had decided to kindly oblige after listening to him nag her about it for an hour straight. It wasn't particularly hard to get things that she knew he'd like - _just feed him pork rinds and jelly and he'll be_ _fine_ , Damon had said offhandedly - it was trying to compel her card not to be declined that was the problem. Still, she was able to get plenty of food regardless, and as she slammed the door of her car shut and opened up the back to get the rest, she hoped he would be happy.

 _He better be_ , she thought bitterly.

Grabbing a few more bags, Caroline closed the back hatch and pushed the button on her key ring to lock up her car. She vamped to the front door and stuck her house key in, twisting and opening it (though with some difficulty, even for her) and stepping inside.

"Okay, so I got some stuff that I think you'll-"

Her words froze in her throat as she turned from shutting the door behind her. The entire living room had been changed around. The couch wasn't where the couch was supposed to be, the recliners and television and pictures on the walls weren't where she had left them, and even the rugs had been swapped out from another room. And there Kai stood in the middle of it all, arms crossed and a satisfied smile on his face as he admired his handiwork.

" _What_. The _hell_. Did you do to my living room?" She quietly seethed, keeping her anger in check...for the moment.

"I've always wanted to try feng shui," he said. "Domestic energy flow and all that. Did you know that an 'L'-shaped kitchen is the most functional out of all the possible layouts?"

"Ugh! What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"I'm a retired sociopath who you decided to let crash at your home and leave alone with your entire house at my disposal."

"..."

"..."

"...But-"

"Honestly, I don't know how you keep forgetting that."

Frustrated, she dropped her bags and placed her fingers on her temples. "Ugh, you know what? This isn't gonna work out. You need to leave."

Kai tilted his head, a look of befuddlement on his face. "Why? I just made your living room look like something out of Home & Garden, free of charge."

"I said out!"

"Nooo," he corrected her. "You said 'this isn't gonna work out, you need to leave."

She shoved a finger towards the door. "OUT!"

"But where am I gonna sleep?"

"OUTSIDE!" She yelled, fed up with his antics.

He held his hands up in defeat. "Okay, but don't blame me when your house suddenly starts to have more flow."

Without further argument, he passed by her and left, and Caroline slammed and locked the door behind him. She put the groceries away, glad that she had gotten just as much for herself as she had for him, and contemplated throwing his half of the food out just to spite him further.

* * *

She relaxed in the living room some hours later, lounging on the couch beneath a blanket even though she didn't really need one and watching tv as she ate chips and drank chocolate milk. One of her favorite movies was on, and though she tried to enjoy it, she couldn't silence the little voice in the back of her head.

 _You should let him back in_ , her mind whispered. _It's pretty cold out tonight._

She stopped chewing, rolling her eyes and glancing towards the window.

 _Ugh, but he's sooo annoying_ , she thought.

 _Just be the better person_ , her conscience told her. _It's not hard._

She leaned her head back against the couch, giving in to her better nature. "Uuuuuugh, I hate when my brain is right..."

Setting down the bag of chips with a huff, Caroline leapt off the couch and stalked over to the door, opening it up and stepping out into the night. She searched for Kai, looking for him on the lawn or in the bushes, ultimately circling the house.

As she came around the corner to the window that peeked into the living room, she found her culprit laying huddled up behind the bushes, rubbing his hands together to keep warm.

" _What_ are you _doing_ in there?!" She all but shrieked, hands out in a 'what the heck?' manner.

"The heater comes out here," he said, and as she looked closer she could see the outgoing vent from her house.

"Ugh, just...just come inside, okay?" She asked, placing an exasperated hand on her forehead. "It's cold out here."

Kai shivered a bit, but she suspected it was merely for the sake of drama. In a way she envied him; since her turn, she could hardly remember what it felt like to truly be cold. She felt heat but didn't sweat, and she felt cold but never shivered. Oh, to be human and fragile.

"I thought you said you didn't want me living with you anymore?" He asked a bit snarkily. "After I gave your house a makeover."

"I... _lied_ , okay? I was just mad that you thought you could move my stuff around without asking me first." She admitted. Reluctantly, she added, "Come on. I'm watching one of my favorite movies and I've got chips and chocolate milk inside. It's no fun if I watch it by myself."

Kai looked down, seeming to consider her offer. Though they both knew he'd choose warmth over freezing to death any day, Caroline knew full well that he'd drag this out as long as he could to prolong her guilt for throwing him out in the first place.

 _Stupid temper,_ she thought.

"Well, as much I'd love to spend the night out here huddled up next to your heater, I'm afraid I'll have to accept your mediocre alternative."

He began to stand and she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms in waiting.

"And I want the chocolate milk," he stated.

She made a face. "Pfft. What, are we bargaining now?"

"Hey, it's either that or I stay out here all night and you get to wallow in your own guilt without a cuddle buddy. Your pick."

"Errgh! Fine. But we are _not_ cuddling."

He smiled triumphantly and stepped out from behind the bushes, and they walked back inside together. Kai plopped down on the couch and settled into the corner closest to the end table with the chips and chocolate milk (in _her_ spot), snatching hold of the jug and taking a swig. Wiping his mouth, he smiled over at her and patted the spot next to him.

"Saddle up, partner."

She rolled her eyes but ultimately sat down next to him, crossing her arms a bit like a child as they sat and watched the movie.

"I hope you realize you made me miss my favorite part," she said as she watched the screen.

"Shame," he said insincerely, picking up a corner of the blanket and dragging it over the both of them. "Here. Warm me up."

She made a sound of annoyance but complied, shuffling the blanket to cover them both. When she was satisfied, she reached over him to grab the bag of chips she'd bought earlier that day.

"Woah, hey, watch it. I don't want hair-flavored chocolate milk." He said, sitting up a little to hold the jug over her head.

"Oh, please," she said, returning to her spot beside him. He really was quite cold. "It's not like I'm sticking my head down into the jug."

"Okay, but if I find _one_ hair..." he warned, leaving his threat open for interpretation.

"Whatever." She mumbled, tossing a chip into her mouth. "Turn up the volume."

Kai did as he was told, reaching for the remote and increasing the volume on the tv.

"...You know, I wanted to surprise you," he said after a while. "That was the whole point of not telling you. I thought you'd like what I did with the place."

Caroline sighed, not saying anything. Now she felt even more guilty for tossing him out to the cold. Though her initial instincts were telling her he was lying, there was also a part of her that believed he had genuinely wanted to do something nice for her. Blame it on the merge with Luke, blame it on the amount of time he'd spent with her and the 'bonding' they had done, but dammit, she believed him. She looked around at the new layout of her living room, taking the time to truly admire it for the first time.

"...Well, it _does_ look like something out of Home  & Garden."

She smiled and looked over at him, and he smiled back, seemingly pleased with her answer. She settled further into the couch and leaned against him, relishing in the heat he and the blanket provided.

"..."

"..."

"...You know this is technically cuddling, right?"

"Shut up."


	9. So You Dig This Kind Of Weather, Huh?

**A/N: 07/07/2017 Hey guys! Sorry I took so long getting another one of these out there. Work's been kicking my butt and I've been gradually writing several different oneshots while on break and lunch, so yeah.**

 **CandyJMF : Haha aww thank you! I was afraid that last one was a bit too mushy, so I'm glad you liked it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter nine: So You Dig This Kind Of Weather, Huh?

* * *

Caroline awoke with a start, bolting up in her bed.

It was raining out, and thunder boomed in the distance. She ran a hand across her tired face, annoyed with herself for letting something as harmless as a _rainstorm_ wake her up. Deciding she needed a glass of water, Caroline slid out from beneath her covers and stood up, grabbing a blanket off a chair on her way out of her room and wrapping it around herself.

She walked down the hall and around the corner, freezing when she saw that the front door was hanging open. Sobering up a bit, she cautiously came closer, noticing a figure sitting on the front porch, and felt relieved when she saw that it was only Kai.

"Kai?" She whispered sleepily. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," he answered quietly, sounding far away.

She walked over and sat down beside him on the porch, rubbing her tired eyes.

"You know, I spent over twenty years in that prison world," he said, looking out into the rain. "It's been so long I almost forgot what a rainstorm looked like."

Thunder cracked in the distance, and they sat together, both quiet.

Caroline thought about the fact that he'd been stuck in the same year repeating the same day over and over, eating the same things and enduring the same weather day after day. How tiring must that have been? How bored must he have gotten? Hell, if it were her, she would have gone insane.

 _Probably the only reason he survived for so long,_ she mused _. Because he_ is _insane._

Still, she couldn't help but pity him. After all, she wasn't sure anyone deserved to be alone. Not even Kai Parker.

"I bet it feels good, huh?" She said, smiling when he finally looked at her.

"It feels...different." He said, sounding somewhat melancholy. "From what I remember."

He blinked and looked away and her smile froze, realizing the last time he probably remembered a rainstorm was when his family was still alive. She wondered if he ever felt any guilt about it since the merge with his brother, ever had trouble sleeping or difficulty functioning knowing what he'd done, and she supposed that now, sitting up with him at three in the morning watching a thunder storm, she had her answer.

 _What must that have been like?_ She wondered. _To grow up with your entire family thinking you were a freak for something you couldn't even control?_

She looked down at her knees and drew the blanket further around herself. She wondered what Kai had been like when his family was still alive, still innocent. A part of her wished she could bring some of that innocence back.

 _Maybe you can..._

An idea suddenly hitting her, Caroline looked out into the storm, turning her head and settling her gaze on Kai.

"You wanna go out into it?" She asked enthusiastically.

Kai looked at her, surprise written on his face. "What?"

"Well you can't say it feels different unless you go out and mess around in it," she explained, shedding her blanket as she stood up. She extended a hand to him.

He gave her a weird look but ultimately took it, and Caroline beamed as she ran out and pulled him into the rain. Thunder boomed and they were pelted with water in seconds, but Caroline laughed and held her arms out, happy for the experience she hadn't felt since she was a kid.

"Come on, it's fun!" She goaded, sticking out her tongue to catch rain drops.

Kai awkwardly mirrored her pose, holding his arms out and opening his mouth to the sky.

"See?" She smiled, eyes bright with mirth.

Kai smiled, rain dripping off his lashes as he stared at her. "Yeah, actually! I think I might!"

Thunder rumbled and lightning struck in the distance, and Kai suddenly began to shiver. "Uh, not that this isn't insanely fun...but I think it would probably be a good idea to get me back inside." He said through chattering teeth.

Caroline looked away from the storm and looked at him, finally coming to her senses when she saw him hugging his sides for warmth.

"Oh! Oh yeah, o- of course. Here, lemme get you back inside."

Grabbing hold of him, she vamped them back inside and shut the door, speeding him into her mother's room (well, it was his now) and getting out some dry clothes.

"Here," she said, handing a t-shirt and pair of pajamas to him. "I'll wait outside."

She stepped out of the room and shut the door, coming back in when Kai tapped on it from the other side.

"All better?" She asked, smiling timidly and raising her eyebrows.

He held both of his thumbs up, smiling broadly. "All better."

"Good," she nodded, hands placed awkwardly at her sides. "...I'm sorry. I should have known better than to...take you out into a _rainstorm_ , what was I _thinking?!_ I mean, you're-"

She hit herself on the head, angry for being so stupid.

"Human?" He finished, still smiling.

"...Yeah." She said lamely, giving a halfhearted smile. Her heart sank when she noticed he was still shivering slightly. "You cold?"

He looked down at himself, as though only just realizing he was shivering himself. "Oh, uh...a little bit. But I'll be fine."

Hating herself, Caroline rolled her eyes and used her vampire speed to shove him onto the bed and pull the covers over him. She tucked him in and fluffed his pillow, positioning it under his head. She placed her hands on her hips and observed her handiwork, making sure everything was as it should be before she went back to sleep.

"You know, I'd probably warm up faster if you got in with me," he said, voice deceptively innocent as he stared up at her with puppy dog eyes. "And sleep better."

She gave him a look. "Please, I am _not_ falling for that one."

She turned around to leave, but didn't make it further than the doorway when she heard quiet coughing. It was obviously exaggerated, if not completely fake, but she couldn't help it as her heartstrings tugged and her good conscience got the better of her.

 _Dammit!_

"Ugh! _Fine_ , I'll sleep with you," she relented, stomping back up to the bed and ushering him out of the way. "Scooch over," she ordered, and Kai immediately obeyed.

She slid in next to him and flung the covers over herself, laying on her side as she faced him. "Happy?" She asked irritably.

Kai moved closer, sharing in her heat. "Very."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just don't try anything funny, okay? Otherwise you'll find out just what it's like to _sleep_ in a rainstorm instead of just play in it."

She exhaled and closed her eyes, ready for sleep. She could feel Kai's eyes on her, open and staring even though she knew he must have been tired, but she refused to look back at him out of sheer stubbornness. She kept her eyes shut, trying to focus on sleep rather than Kai's proximity and the rate of his heartbeat.

"...Thanks, by the way."

Her eyes snapped open, locking with his. "What?" She whispered, unsure if she'd heard correctly. That was _way_ too sincere to be coming from the mouth of Kai Parker.

"For helping me erase some bad memories," he said quietly. "Thanks."

He gave a little smile, and Caroline just stared at him, trying not to seem totally blown away by what she was hearing. Kai Parker was thanking her. Really, truly, legitimately thanking her. No. Freaking. Way.

"You're welcome..." She whispered back, settling further into her pillow. Seeming pleased with that answer, Kai finally closed his eyes and relaxed under the covers, snuggling a bit closer to her.

He fell asleep within minutes - she could tell because she heard his heart rate slow down - but it was quite some time before Caroline was able to enter the same blissful peace that the boy next to her was experiencing.

Because damn it all, Kai Parker had thanked her.

And it may have been too soon to tell, but she thought that maybe - just maybe - she was starting to rub off on him.


	10. Drop By? How 'Bout Drop Dead?

**A/N: 07/14/2017 And here we finally get some Jealous!Kai! More on the way!**

 **57jellybean57 : Omg thank you! I agree, the idea of them living together opens the door for some really great moments and scenarios between them :)**

 **TheConjuringMind : Thank you! I loves me some fluff every now and then!**

 **Dare to be Something More : Holy crap, thanks for all your reviews! I actually love Carenzo, and I honestly thought that was the direction TVD was headed due to the little hints here and there that they left in...oh, gosh, what was it...S4? S5? I was so disappointed that Bonenzo ended up being a thing (like I am sorry but I think they have -0 chemistry and it just came out of nowhere to shock viewers). I actually do plan on writing a Carenzo fic at some point, just gotta get a plot together. Anyway I'm glad you're liking my drabbles so far! And Kai is _not_ a vampire in these drabbles. In my mind, he stayed with the group after he merged with Luke, so he never got stuck in the 1903 prison world with the heretics, and therefore has feelings and empathy and all that. Except for the oneshots with Caroline and the twins, and where her humanity is shut off (chapters 1 and 2), so I've kinda got two separate universes going on here. Kinda confusing, I know, but that's why I've kept it to drabbles/oneshots rather than a full-on story :)**

 **Dark Goddess2000 : OMG YES ANOTHER KAIROLINE SHIPPER! Lol you have no idea how happy I am to know you exist! I'm working on like 10 different oneshots for these two so stay tuned!**

 **CandyJMF : Aww thank youuu! I think Kai would be a big cuddler for some reason, don't know why. And who better to cuddle with than Caroline? XD**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter ten: Drop By? How 'Bout Drop Dead?

* * *

Kai lounged comfortably on the Forbes's couch, flipping through a magazine from Caroline's stash and eating chips.

 _"Woah,"_ he said to himself, eyes going wide as he landed on page forty-three where a half-naked Kardashian assaulted his vision. "They sure have lowered the bar for these things, I'll tell you that."

He had only just flipped the page and tried to erase the image from his mind when he heard a buzzing sound, and he looked up from his afternoon read to see Caroline's phone vibrating on the table. Eh. She could get it later.

"Hey, Kai, could you get my phone for me, please?" She called from the shower.

 _Stupid vampire hearing_ , he mentally mumbled.

Sighing dramatically, Kai slowly reached over the table to where her phone lay, as though it physically pained him to do so, and grabbed hold of Caroline's phone. Typing in her password, he swiped right and opened it, viewing the text she had just gotten. Correction, texts. As in multiple. And they were all from-

"Who was it?" Caroline called.

"Uhh...wrong number," he called back, pushing delete on the new messages.

He went back to reading his magazine, getting lost in an article about hair and skin care. Just as he was getting to find out how to keep ones cuticles healthy, a knock came at the door. Bounding up off the couch, Kai stuffed Caroline's phone in his back pocket and trotted over to the door to greet their sudden guest. He opened it without hesitation, expecting pizza or maybe Bonnie, but what he got was-

 _Oh. Stefawn._

"Uh, hi." Stefan greeted, somewhat awkwardly.

Kai didn't like him. He didn't like either of the Salvatores. Well, he kind of liked Damon. But that was besides the point. He looked down at what Stefan was holding, which appeared to be a rolled up piece of paper, probably a scroll of some sort. Definitely something magical that probably demanded Caroline's attention. On a Friday. And Fridays were their movie nights.

"Oh, we already got our morning paper," he said, giving him his best fake smile. "Thanks anyway, though!"

He hurried to shut the door, but Stefan threw his arm out to block it.

"You probably don't remember me," he tried again. Ah, Stefawn. Always so polite. "I'm...Stefan. Stefan Salvatore? I was there the day Bonnie decided to let you live?"

Kai squinted at the younger Salvatore, pretending to think. "...Ohh, yeah! Stefawn! Yeah no, I remember you. I haven't seen you since that time I hoped I'd never see you again! How ya been?"

Stefan stared at him, giving him a strange look. "Right. Anyway, is Caroline around? I've been trying to get ahold of her but she's not answering my texts."

He leaned against the door and discreetly pushed Caroline's phone further into his back pocket. "Yeah, no, she's actually not here right now. Darn, I...really wish I coulda taken a message for ya."

He made a fist and nudged Stefan's shoulder, assuming that the conversation was over.

"Actually, you can. Tell her-"

"Okay, great!" He chirped, cutting him off. "Bye-bye, now."

He began to close the door again when Caroline's voice rang out through the house.

"Kai? Is someone at the door?"

 _Fudge_.

Kai pursed his lips, smiling in discontent. "...Yeah." He called back.

"Who?"

 _Fudge fudge fudge._

"...Stefan."

"Okay, I'll be out in a sec."

He could hear the shower curtain being pulled back as she began to dress, and Stefan gave him a triumphant smile while Kai offered a sarcastic one back. They could be in the middle of a make-out session (not that he'd ever been fortunate enough to experience one with the lovely Caroline Forbes, but still) and she would go running at the first call of Stefan. Never failed.

"Phew, okay. What's up?" She said as she walked up to them fully clothed, putting her hair up in a towel.

"We think we may have found something that'll help solve our little..." Stefan glanced over at Kai, then back at Caroline, clearly not wanting to share. " _Problem_."

"Okay, well what is it?" She asked, attention caught.

"Come with me and I'll show you." He said, motioning to leave.

"Okay, lemme just grab my jacket," she said, turning around and disappearing into a nearby closet. "Where's my phone?"

Kai awkwardly shuffled to the side, away from the door. "Uhh I don't know. I left it on the table."

She searched for it for a few moments before scoffing and giving up. "Ugh, whatever. There's ice cream in the fridge and plenty of snacks lying around, so help yourself. Not that you don't already do that anyway." She tossed him a pointed look, but it was more humorous than malicious. "I'll be back as soon as I can, but don't wait up."

"Gotcha," he said, walking over to the table and picking up his open bag of chips. He tossed a few into his mouth and reclaimed his place by the doorway.

"Okay, I'll see you." She said, giving him a little wave as she walked out.

"Mm!" He said through his chewing. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

She turned and he held up the set of house keys. She sighed in a 'what is wrong with me?' kind of manner, rolling her eyes and raising her hand to take them from him. He pulled them back as she reached, causing her to come closer, and gave her a quick peck on the lips, smiling when she sputtered. It was something he did to get a rise out of her, and she let him because she never thought there was any romantic context behind it (which there wasn't. There totally wasn't). It became sort of their thing.

"Ew, _pork_ rinds," she muttered under her breath, wiping her tongue with her sleeve.

She snatched the keys and walked out the door, and Kai took another helping of chips.

"Love you!" He called, to which he received no response.

Pushing the door shut, he walked over to the curtains and peeked behind them, watching as Stefan helped Caroline into his car. She looked at him and he waved, to which she rolled her eyes but ultimately smiled and waved back. Stefan slammed the passenger door shut and walked around to the driver's side, eyes locking with Kai's. He pulled the corners of his mouth in for one of those sort-of-but-not-really smiles you give someone you don't really like but are too polite to admit, and Kai swiftly shifted his wave into a middle finger, waving it happily at him.

Stefan simply shook his head and got in the car, and Kai went back to the couch, flipping on the tv and awaiting Caroline's return.

So much for movie night.

* * *

Caroline unlocked the door to her home, stepping inside and shedding her jacket.

"Well, I'm home. _That_ was a waste of time..."

She walked into the living room, words cut short as she saw Kai asleep on the couch. The tv was on, and his head hung to the side with drool coming out of his mouth. His pork rinds sat nestled in his side, and a blanket was strewn across his lap.

Suddenly regretting making so much noise, she quietly walked up to him and took the chips out of his hands, laying them down on the table. She picked up the remote and turned off the tv, moving to adjust the blanket. Kai stirred awake as she tucked him in, stretching out his arms and yawning, eyes blinking slowly.

"Uhh...what time is it?" He asked through his yawn.

"Time for _you_ to go back to bed," she replied, pulling the blanket off of him when he stood up and cracked his back and neck.

"Ugh, so what did Steven want?"

"You mean Stefan?" She corrected. "He thought he had a lead on our latest supernatural problem. Turned out to be a dead end."

Kai blinked. "Huh. Well anyway, I guess that'll teach you to walk out on movie night, am I right? Weeks of planning down the tubes must feel pretty sucky."

"We do movie night every week." She said.

"Right." He yawned and stretched some more.

"I get the feeling you don't like him." Caroline said, crossing her arms and squinting her eyes at him.

"Hey," he warned. "I may be retired, but I'm still a psychopath. And you're crazy if you think I don't fantasize about roasting his chiseled head on a stick."

"Why? What has he ever done to you?" She prodded, irritation rising.

Kai didn't answer. He couldn't. Because the truth was nothing. Stefan had done nothing whatsoever to anger or slight him. He had done no wrong, committed no crime against him. But maybe that was why he didn't like him. _Because_ he'd done no wrong, because he was Mr. Perfect. He didn't know. He just knew that he didn't like him, and that he couldn't explain it.

"Look, can we skip the therapy session tonight? I'm not in the mood."

"No, I'd like to know what your problem is with him." Caroline insisted. "Ever since our latest life-threatening disaster showed up, you've been acting weird."

He blinked slowly at her, as though he were talking to a child. "Or, maybe you're just overthinking the behavior of a sociopath. Little miss Crazy."

"You're a psychopath, and _I'm_ the crazy one?" She scoffed.

"Well, if you think I'm gonna let _that_ happen, then yes."

He froze, surprised at the words that came out of his mouth. Luckily for him, Caroline was so angry that she didn't seem to notice.

"Erghh, you are _so_...wait, let what happen?"

Or not.

"Oh, Clarice," he smiled, looking her over. "Ever the hero, always oblivious."

"What?" She asked, clearly confused.

"Oh, nothing," he said casually, trying to play it cool. "Just the whole, 'you and Stefan' thing. It's not gonna happen."

Her eyebrows rose. "'Me and Stefan'? Kai, we're trying to stop the end of the world as we know it. I hardly think that counts as a 'me and Stefan' thing."

"Look, Elena and Damon are revolting enough, I don't need you jumping on the Salvatore bandwagon any time soon too."

She wrinkled her eyebrows at him. "The Salvatore bandwagon? Wha-" her eyes widened, words freezing in her throat. "...Oh my God, you're jealous!"

His face scrunched up, taken aback by her sudden outburst. "Did you not hear what I just said? 'Revolting'?"

"Awww, that is so cute!"

"Okay, one: you're wrong. And two: I just don't want to be disgusted in my own house."

"You mean my house."

He waved a hand, dismissing it. "Tomato, tomotto."

"Oh my God, stop it. We both know that's not the reason."

Kai shifted, getting uncomfortable. "Okay, now you really do sound crazy."

"No, you are! You're mad because I've been spending more time with Stefan lately than with you."

"Uh, okay, can we skip to the part where I actually care about the words coming out of your mouth?"

She tilted her head, smirking. "Kai. You're jealous. Accept it."

He bristled, lifting his chin in defiance. "No."

Caroline smiled, one of those smug, all-knowing smiles (he hated those), and said, "Okay. Well. I'm gonna go to bed. Stefan's supposed to come over for dinner tomorrow. I was gonna ask if you thought that would be okay, but, since you're _clearly_ not jealous..."

She trailed off, still smiling as she turned and left the room to go get ready for bed.

Anger bubbled inside Kai's chest, a tremendous heat rising up his sternum. Fear soon accompanied it, because he wasn't sure why he was angry to begin with: his lack of a comeback? Caroline's smugness and know-it-all attitude? Stefan's _hair?_ He couldn't formulate a clear thought and it was frustrating him.

But Caroline was wrong, he thought.

He wasn't jealous.

He really wasn't.

He just hated Stefan.

It was too bad he didn't have his magic, otherwise he'd break something. Hell, he could break something now. But then Caroline would get mad and throw him out of the house again. Decisions, decisions...

With no proper outlet and nothing else to do, Kai turned out the lights and stormed off to his bedroom, slamming the door and changing into some sleep clothes.

He turned off the lights and hopped under the covers, rolling onto his side and shutting his eyes.

And he went to bed, so not jealous.

Because he really wasn't.

He just hated Stefan.


	11. Your Mom

**A/N: 07/22/2017 Hey guys, I'm back. Sorry I took so long posting another chapter, life's been hectic for me lately and I just haven't felt like writing. Having car troubles and Chester Bennington's death really put a damper on my mood, especially since I bought Linkin Park tickets and now their tour is cancelled :(**

 **This one's short, but I thought it was too cute to scrap.**

 **Dare to be Something More : That's a fantastic idea! I hadn't thought of following up on it but now I think I should! Thanks for the suggestion! _Kai does in fact leave the house_ , but only with supervision. He's kind of like a little kid that constantly needs to be looked after, either by Caroline or someone else (I.e, Bonnie or Damon). I actually do have a couple chapters I'm working on where they go out and do something together, but they're not finished yet. I'll definitely be brainstorming on a Carenzo fic! I love those two!**

 **57jellybean57 : Yeah, jealous Kai is an awesome Kai ;) Thanks! Glad you enjoyed the chapter!**

 **CandyJMF : Aw thanks! I'm glad you liked the chapter so much! :D Yeah Carenzo fics are hard to find, even harder to find completed (I still have yet to find one). I actually read on twitter that Carenzo WAS going to happen canonically in the show, but that fans 'wanted it too much' so they went in the Steroline direction. Which I think is just plain ridiculous. Like seriously, why would you diss fans like that and not give them what they want? But, whatever. We can still fantasize :P**

 **Dark Goddess2000 : Omg thanks! Really makes me happy knowing that you love these things I write so much lol. Hope you like this chapter as well, even though it's short :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter eleven: Your Mom

* * *

"Hey, do we have milk?" Caroline asked, opening the fridge.

Kai didn't look up from his phone as he sat on the couch. "I don't know, but I bet your mom has milk."

She shot him a death glare but it went unheeded. She closed the refrigerator door and huffed. "Well, apparently not, so I guess I'm gonna have to run out and get some."

"Your mom had to run out and get some, too," Kai smirked, still looking at his phone.

Caroline looked at him, clearly fed up. "Um, no she didn't, because my mom's _dead_. Now stop. Talking."

Kai scrolled a bit more on his phone, finally looking up and saying, "Your mom wanted me to stop talking, too."

"Okay, you know what, that's it!"

Patience gone, Caroline vamped over to him and snatched his phone away, scrolling through the web page he was on. Her jaw dropped at what she saw.

"'Best comebacks for every occasion'?"

"Yeah, I guess it is true what they say!" Kai chirped. "'Your mom' really is a comeback for everything!"

She glared. "You have one chance, _one_ , to stop talking before I _throttle_ you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Your mom wanted me to throttle her last night."

"URRGHH! THAT IS IT!"

Tossing the phone aside, she lunged for him, his slow human muscles no match for her vampire speed. Kai barely had time to react before he was shoved against the wall, angry black eyes staring back at him as Caroline struggled to keep her cool.

"No wait, wait, I'm sorry!" He surrendered, eyes wide. "I shouldn't have done that, it was an insensitive thing to do and I am so- MOTUS!"

He thrust a hand in her face expecting flames or maybe a fireball to come shooting out at her, but nothing came. Of course he should have expected he'd need more magic than what little he had in his reserves for something that took so much energy.

Caroline's mouth fell open, shocked and angry that he would even try such a thing, and Kai could only avoid her gaze like a guilty child.

"Crap."

"Yeah," Caroline mocked, smiling mirthlessly. "Crap."

Needless to say, Kai slept outside that night.


	12. Devil Went Down To Loiusiana

**A/N: 08/08/2017 Woo, it's good to be back! Anywho, this one's a sort of sequel to chapter one, You Can Live Without A Spleen.**

 **It's kind of rushed and corny, but I hope you guys like it regardless :)**

 **areuevernotgoingtofall4that : Woah, thanks! I'm constantly freaking out about whether or not I'm writing Kai in character, so it's good to know I'm doing well from readers such as yourself! :)**

 **57jellybean57 : Yeah, Caroline's mom is definitely a sore spot. Kai better watch his mouth ;P**

 **Dare to be Something More : Yes, it's very sad about Chester. I'm still bummed that I'll never get to see him in concert. But, gloominess aside, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, despite its shortness. Haha yeah I probably should have sent Kai to the Salvatores after Caroline kicked him out, but I wasn't thinking (whoops) XD**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

 **EDIT** THANK you Dare to be Something More for correcting me on the location of NOLA. Haha omg I honestly can't explain why I put Georgia (I swear, I know geography). Though I did write this at midnight, so maybe lack of sleep had something to do with it XD haha thanks! Had to shorten the chapter title cuz FF won't let me put the full thing in there, but oh well. My mind is going on me, I swear!**

* * *

Chapter twelve: The Devil Went Down To Georgia...I mean Loiusiana~

* * *

"So tell me again why we're driving all the way down to Louisiana?"

Kai traced pictures in the fogged passenger window as they drove down the highway. It was dawn ( _far_ too early to be out on the road in his opinion), and the quiet drone of the radio mixed in with the whir of tires on pavement created a sound that altogether annoyed him. He could hear Caroline sigh irritably in the driver's seat.

" _Because_. My year without humanity is up, and now that I need to turn it back on, I need to go somewhere that I know will flip my switch."

"Pssh. You put a time limit on yourself for going without humanity? That doesn't sound like very much fun to me. Are you sure you really flipped your switch?"

"If I hadn't, would I be able to do this without caring?"

She reached across the car and grabbed hold of Kai's hand, twisting it until his wrist broke.

"AAGH!" He jerked his arm back and cradled his hand. "No, I suppose not," he admitted through gritted teeth. "So what's with Loiusiana, anyway? What's so special about that place that you think it'll get your humanity back on?"

She shook her head. "It's not the _place_. It's the person that lives there."

"Really?" He said, somewhat interested. "And who might that be?"

She didn't respond, merely looked down as she drove, and Kai couldn't help but take notice. Okay, now he was really interested.

"Clarice, you tell me right now, young lady, or you can kiss your werewolf protection spell goodbye."

She rolled her eyes and made a sound of annoyance in the back of her throat. "Urghh, you'll see when we get there, alright? Now stop talking and let me listen to this song."

She turned up the dial on the radio and blasted the latest thing on 97.9, and Kai covered his ears like a child. He liked the future, really, he did, but he could not stand today's music.

They drove for a few more hours until finally coming to a stop at a New Orleans hotel, where Caroline checked them in with her vampire charm and stole someone's penthouse suite. After lugging their stuff up to the thirty-fifth floor, they went for a stroll around the French Quarter, feigning casualness as they searched for the mystery person that would bring Caroline's humanity back.

He had to say, he was pretty intrigued by now. Who on earth would be such an emotional anchor for Caroline that they could flip her switch just like that? Who could possibly have such an impact on her feelings that they could bring them back when she currently had none? Who the _hell_ -

"We're here," she said suddenly, cutting off Kai's thoughts.

They had stopped at a large and rather extravagant building, three stories high with two balconies and lots of windows. It was very old from the looks of it, but still classy. Like one of those ancient homes on those tv shows that follow celebrities around in real estate.

"Looks expensive," he remarked, giving the building a once-over.

"Dust in the wind for the one who owns it," Caroline replied. "Come on."

She waved him forward and he followed, giddy as a kid in a movie theater with the biggest bag of popcorn.

They stepped inside, looking around. It seemed...empty? But Kai didn't want to say that out loud, because Caroline (though humanity...less) was obviously hopeful. And if she was feeling hopeful at just the _thought_ of seeing this person again - whoever they were - he could only imagine what meeting them in person would do.

"Hello?" Caroline called, voice echoing. "Is anybody there?"

For a few moments, silence was the only thing that filled their ears, but then footsteps began to echo into the open room, hard and heavy against unsteady metal, and eventually, a figure came into light.

"Is someone looking for me?"

Kai and Caroline looked up and to their left, at a man standing on one of the balconies. He stared down at them with a hard gaze, and Kai secretly hoped they'd gotten the wrong address. But judging from the look of awe and emotion (God, _emotion_. He couldn't remember ever seeing that) on Caroline's face, this was exactly where they needed to be.

"Klaus..." Caroline whispered, her perfect eyebrows creasing ever so slightly.

Kai blinked. _Klaus? As in...?_

 _No_ , he thought. _It couldn't be._

Was it-?

The man's expression immediately softened, his own features twisting into an expression of delight and confusion. "Caroline?"

He disappeared from his place on the balcony and was at Caroline's side in an instant, mere feet away. Kai flinched a bit, not expecting him to be a vampire. Though he supposed that with Caroline's tastes and high standards, he shouldn't have expected anything less.

Oh God, it was. Caroline had gotten mixed up with Klaus mother-freaking Mikaelson. The thousand-year-old vampire hybrid who was feared by all who knew his name. He'd heard his father mention him once to his mother when he'd thought no one was listening, and even at the tender age of seven he knew not to ask questions. Klaus was no one to mess with. So how on earth she thought this monster could get her humanity back on was beyond him.

"Darling, what are you doing so far from Mystic Falls?" He asked gently, tilting his head quizzically.

He reached up to touch her face, but she flinched away, stepping back towards Kai as her usual stone-cold expression fell back into place. Even Kai could see she was struggling with everything she was feeling.

"...You shut your humanity off," Klaus observed softly, disappointment adorning his features. "Caroline, what happened?"

"My mom died," she answered. Despite her attempts to keep her voice casual, there was a hint of stress in her tone.

"Oh, darling," he whispered, stepping forward and reaching up once again to touch her face. Her eyes fluttered, but she didn't back away. "How?"

"She-" she paused, a look of confusion on her face. She reached up to touch her throat as she cleared it. "Um, she...she got cancer."

"And?" He inquired, wanting her to explain further.

"A- and...she...um..."

Kai looked at her, knowing she was getting uncomfortable. Which did _not_ happen with a humanity-less Caroline Forbes. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife, and the witch siphon felt as though he were invisible. A feeling he didn't particularly enjoy.

Caroline blinked, reaching up to catch a single fallen tear. She looked at it a moment, expression changing from confusion to shock to panic, and she violently shook her head and lurched away from Klaus' hand.

"I- I can't do this. This was a mistake." She said hurriedly. She turned and looked at Kai. "Kai, come on, let's go."

She made to grab his arm but Klaus stopped her, grabbing hold of her wrist and spinning her back around to face him.

"No!" He commanded. "You can't hide from your feelings any longer, luv. Do you feel that? Panic? Anguish? Regret? Let them in. Face what you've been running from. Face it!"

"No, I- I can't!" She whimpered, but tears were already filling her eyes.

"You can," he encouraged, eyes determined. "I'll help you. Just let the memories, the _feelings_ , all come back."

"I can't, it hurts!" She cried, surrendering to the hold he had on her wrist.

" _Yes_ , you can!" He boomed. "I know it hurts. I know. But you need to let it in. You need to _feel!"_

" _No!"_ She cried, tears flowing freely now.

Kai watched as she slowly came undone, crumpling to the floor in a tangled mess as Klaus followed her down and held her close, stroking her hair and rocking her back and forth.

It was strange, watching the woman he'd spent the past year with feeling so...well, _feeling_. They'd had loads of fun together over the past twelve months - countless cities, tons of parties, hundreds dead - but aside from a snide smirk or dark laugh, he'd never seen her derive genuine feeling from anything. And he'd _certainly_ never seen her cry. And he couldn't say that he enjoyed seeing her that way, either.

He couldn't explain it, but he felt funny watching her cry rivers of tears, especially in arms that weren't his own.

Wait, what? Did he seriously just think that?

Okay, something was definitely wrong with him.

It was this place. Too charged with magic and overrun with every type of creature in the book. Yeah. That was it.

He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his head, but one look at Caroline's whimpering form and his mind went reeling again.

Damn, how the hell did this even happen? They'd been living it up, doing their own thing, they were having fun! And then the second the year is spent, Caroline wants to get her humanity back on. And what's more, he even agreed to help her do it. Like, what the actual hell? And now, watching everything that made up what she'd been before come flooding back to her, he found himself feeling...inadequate?

Like why couldn't he get her humanity back on? They'd probably spent more time together in the past year than she and this... _guy_ had her whole life, right? Why wasn't he good enough to spark some kind of emotion inside her? Why couldn't he say two words to her and have her running for the hills from her feelings?

Kai shifted his weight onto one foot, jaw tensing.

He knew why. It was because he wasn't an all-powerful wolf hybrid who was known across the globe three times over. Who had money and connections, who had lived a hundred lifetimes and could show her something exciting, something _new_ every day and never repeat the same experience twice. Someone whose very name struck fear into the unbeating hearts of even the most vicious of supernatural creatures. And with someone like Klaus- _freaking_ -Mikaelson wrapped around her finger, who was he to try and make her look twice at someone else? At him?

But who was he kidding? He hadn't been good enough since his parents birthed him.

Ugh, this place was giving him a headache. He needed to leave and never come back. Ever.

He officially hated New Orleans.

Caroline continued to cry and Klaus continued to hold her close, and Kai did what any self-respecting witch siphon would do in his situation.

He turned his head and looked away.

* * *

 **A/N: I still can't believe I did that. Oh well, though. I'll just have to be more careful of writing and posting at late hours of the night, haha.**

 **I really wish they would've done something like this when Caroline flipped her switch. Like, I honestly thought Stefan and the gang were gonna call Klaus to come up there and turn her humanity back on. *Sigh* Ah, well.**

 **I don't watch TO (though I'll definitely be sticking around for this last season, am I right? *nudges side*), so I hope I described Klaus's home/hideout/whatever relatively accurately. If not, oh well.**


	13. Won't Say I'm In Love

**A/N: 08/09/2017 Back again! Feeling extra creative right now, so here's another one. Hope you like ;)**

 **Dare to be Something More : Thanks again for your correction in the last chapter. I'll have to make sure and double-check everything before I post from now on XD**

 **FanFicNerdMeep : Wow, glad you liked it so much! I actually have one more jealous Kai oneshot in the making, so here's hoping you'll like that one as well once it's posted :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter thirteen: Won't Say I'm In Love~

* * *

Bonnie rolled her eyes as she sat down across from Kai in the kitchen of her home.

He had been bugging her for a free 'therapy session', as he'd called it, for a little over two weeks straight now, and she'd finally caved and agreed to see him because - why else? - she couldn't stand him constantly trying to talk to her. And if this little get-together would shut him up and allow her to return to her normal Kai-free life, so be it.

"Thanks again for agreeing to see me, Bon," he said, smiling gratefully.

" _Don't_ be," she said curtly. "I'm only doing this because I want you to stop _bugging_ me about it, _and_ I think I already know whatever it is that you wanna tell me. Now on with it. You've got five minutes."

She placed a timer on the table, setting it to five minutes and tapping an invisible watch on her wrist.

Kai stared at the small mechanical device, feeling pressured as he watched the tiny hands tick away the seconds.

"Okay, uh...I don't know where to start," he said, holding his palms out.

"Just _try_." Bonnie said shortly, already annoyed.

"Phew, okay...uhh...I've been getting these...feelings? Lately? Whenever I'm around a certain person...I can't explain it, but...my- my face heats up, aaaand my mouth goes dry...oh, and I have trouble talking. And God knows how much I love to talk, right? So _that_ can't be normal. Let's see, what else...oh! My tongue! Actually starts," he paused to swallow. "To swell up. I thought that maybe I was allergic to something at first, but it only happens when I'm around that certain person."

Bonnie said nothing in response, so he awkwardly continued.

"Umm...I actually...find myself _caring_. About their happiness? I dunno, it's weird. Like, if they weren't happy, I wouldn't be happy. And if they were in danger, I think I might actually risk my life for them. Uh-"

"No, stop." Bonnie said, cutting a hand through the air. "Look, I know exactly what this is."

"You do?" He asked, relief flooding him.

She smiled, nodding. "Mhm. In fact, every normal person on the planet experiences it at some point in their lives. Kai...you're in love with someone."

His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, the room falling completely silent as he fully absorbed the brunt of her words. "Woaaaaahh, that's heavy."

He was...in love? With Caroline? Oh, God. That was _not_ the answer he'd been looking for. He knew they were friends, but...love? What the hell? When did _that_ start happening? Oh, he was feeling dizzy. He needed Prozac. Or a Thorazine drip. Or a Thorazine drip and then some Prozac.

What was he supposed to do now? This was gonna ruin everything he and Caroline had. If he said anything it'd just weird her out and then she wouldn't want to be around him anymore. If he said nothing, things would only get worse and escalate to the point of option A. Ugh, he felt sick...

"Kai?" Bonnie said, slowly waving a hand in front of his face. "You okay?"

Kai continued to stare off into space, slowly registering that she was speaking to him before shaking his head and getting back to reality.

"Uh...I need to leave."

Without any further explanation, he bolted for the door, metal screeching against tile as the legs of his chair were almost violently pushed back.

"Don't worry," Bonnie hollered, smirking. "I won't tell Caroline!"

* * *

 **A/N: I'm thinking of actually taking some of these (or maybe all) and making a full-fledged story out of them. I've got a few ideas. What do you guys think?**


	14. Table For Two, Please

**A/N: 08/13/2017 Dare to be Something More asked a while back if Kai ever left the house and I said yes, so here's a chapter of him and Caroline actually going out and _doing_ something (sort of). This is another jealous!Kai oneshot, and imo it's the most funny, but also destructive out of the...what, three? That I've done so far. Hope you guys enjoy :)**

 **HCookie : Thanks! I'll try and get my things in order for a proper Kairoline story! :)**

 **FanFicNerdMeep : Heck yeah! I had just got done watching Hercules when I was thinking of the chapter title XD I know what you mean about being drawn to Kai's...Kai-ness. Lol I LOVED watching him react to all these new things that just weren't around in the nineties once he got out of the prison world (like phones and skinny jeans). LOL nope, he's definitely not a man-ho like Damon (though Damon cracks me up just as much for sure). Aww thanks! I'm gonna try and pull something together for a full story, so we'll see how it goes. One step at a time, as they say :)**

 **57jellybean57 : Yeah me too. I just love writing for Kai X3 Thank you! I'll try and set something up for a full story!**

 **Dare to be Something More : Your message cut out a bit, so I'm not sure what you also love(?) but thanks! I tried my best to legitimately describe how Kai would feel if he ever fell in love with someone without making it seem corny or OOC. Hope you like this next chapter!**

 **Candyjmf83 : Thanks! I'm thinking about maybe rearranging the chapters, because I feel like they might be confusing, but they're oneshots, so I guess there's no need. Thank you so much! You have no idea how great it makes me feel to know I've actually helped gain a fan for such an unconventional pairing, haha!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter fourteen: Table For Two, Please~

* * *

Kai held Caroline's chair out for her to sit down at their designated table.

They were eating out at one of Mystic Falls' fanciest restaurants to celebrate their anniversary. Anniversary of _what_ exactly hadn't been decided yet - anniversary of their friendship, of Kai's sanity (more or less, anyways), of living together for a year without ripping each other's heads off - it was a different thing for whoever looked at it.

Bonnie saw it as a celebration of Caroline's mental health and Kai's shockingly good behavior. Damon interpreted it as being a buddy-buddy kind of thing and something he could care less about, whereas Stefan silently saw it as an obvious romantic gesture. He wasn't sure how Caroline saw it, but he wasn't about to ask, either. For now, he'd just enjoy the night and think of it in his own way; as celebrating one year of their unofficial relationship.

"I can't believe we're actually here!" Caroline squeaked quietly, face lit up like a Christmas tree as he sat down across from her.

"I know, right?" He remarked, looking around at all the candlelit dinners and fancy curtains. "It's like we're in a deleted scene of The Notebook."

She gave him a look. "Have you even _seen_ that movie?"

He shrugged, taking up the menu. "No, but I'm sure there was a fancy dinner in there somewhere."

She rolled her eyes but said nothing, mirroring his pose as she opened her menu to take a look.

"Okay, let's see..." Kai said to himself. "Mmm...I'm not really feeling seafood-y...and I'm not in the mood for steak...eh, I'll go with spaghetti and meatballs."

"My God, they have so much stuff!" Caroline exclaimed. She looked almost stressed as she looked over all of her options. "Oh...I guess I'll have...lasagna and breadsticks! There. I've made my choice, too late to go back."

She hurriedly put down her menu, as though that would somehow stop herself from thinking about ordering something else, and Kai set down his own menu as their waiter came to their table.

"Hello, there. My name is Don, and I'll be taking care of you tonight."

Kai looked up to smile at him (after all, if nothing else, Caroline _had_ taught him manners) but found that incredibly hard to do when he saw 'Don' staring at Caroline as though _she_ were on the menu and _he_ were nothing short of invisible.

"Here are some dinner rolls to get you guys started." He laid down a basket of rolls, fresh out of the oven from the smell of them, and a small dish of butter. "So what will the lady be ordering?" 'Don' asked, taking out his pen pad and looking down at Caroline.

Caroline looked at her menu, remembering what she'd told herself she would get. "Um, I'll have the lasagna and breadsticks."

Don jotted it down. "And you, sir?"

Oh, _now_ he existed.

He smiled down at Kai with an obviously fake smile, the kind you give people because you have to and it's literally in your job description, and Kai immediately decided he did not care for 'Don' one bit.

"Oh, I'll have spaghetti and meatballs, with a side of your heart roasted on a spit," he smiled, and the waiter's expression faltered, shock written on his face.

"Kai!" Caroline chastised.

"Just kidding," he said, laughing a bit and reaching up to clamp a hand on the waiter's shoulder. "I'd like your heart _and_ your brain. However little there is of it."

Scoffing in distaste, Caroline grabbed hold of the waiter and forced him to look at her, eyes determined.

"You're not going to remember any of this," she compelled. "You're going to get our order and forget everything else that he said to you."

She released him and he smiled, nodding to the two of them. "I'll be right back, sir and madam."

Kai looked at her. "Well you're no fun."

"What is wrong with you?" She asked, clearly pissed.

"What? I was just messing."

"Threatening to _kill_ someone is not just 'messing'," she countered.

"Well, maybe he should have thought twice before deciding to be disrespectful."

"Disrespectful? What are you talking about?"

"Oh please, don't tell me you didn't see it. If that guy wasn't on the clock, he clearly would have been ordering himself a nice tall glass of _you_ with a slice of more you on the side, with even _more_ you for dessert."

She rolled her eyes, exhaling. "People are going to be asshole pigs no matter what you do. You just have to learn to deal with it."

"I don't." He said simply, playing with one of the napkins on the table.

"Well you forget, we're not in the nineties anymore."

"And _you_ forget, _I_ was born in a time where we actually respected the unspoken and obvious."

She scrunched her eyes closed and crossed her fingers on both hands. "Please don't tell me you're going to play the jealous card. Do _not_ tell me you're going to play the jealous card."

He frowned at her, tossing down his napkin and flashing a smile. "I'll be right back."

"Hey! You better not make a scene!"

"Relax, I'm just going to go get some air," he said, holding out his arms and bowing dramatically as he walked away. "In the kitchen," he added quietly to himself, smirking.

Making sure he was out of Caroline's eyesight, he slipped past the front door and into the 'employees only' section, leading himself into the kitchen. He grabbed himself a cook's apron off a nearby hanger and sifted through the various orders being made, trying to find just the right one.

Don burst through the pair of doors that led out into the dining area, and Kai rushed to flatten himself against a nearby wall.

"I've got spaghetti and meatballs and an order of lasagna and breadsticks!" He shouted, pinning their order onto a spindle for one of the chefs to look at. "And make the spaghetti a bit on the crispy side, if ya know what I mean," he added, an annoying smirk on his lips.

"What, customer bein' a prick again?" One of the cooks asked.

"Oh yeah. Big time," he said, making a dramatic face. Kai could've choked on his own spit.

"I'll get 'em for ya," the cook replied, smiling and waving him off.

Don smiled and disappeared back out into the dining area, probably to take some other sorry couple's order. Kai squinted at the man's retreating form, but otherwise did nothing in the way of revenge...yet.

 _Figured. He may not have remembered anything he had said to him, but Caroline still couldn't compel him to not be a prick._

"Uh, hey, is this Don's plate?" A chef asked.

The cook Don had been talking with earlier looked over. "Uh, yeah, that's for table five."

Kai smirked to himself, and began focusing on the plate. "Ves matos..." he whispered an incantation that was sure to put 'Don' in his place, and when he was done, he slinked back into the shadows to return to Caroline.

"Did you get your 'air'?" She asked sarcastically as he sat down.

"Yes." He said, indignant as he straightened his suit. "Thank you for asking."

As though right on cue, Kai saw Don reemerge from the kitchen with a plateful of food, which just so happened to be the order for table number five.

"Motus," he whispered, and the platter Don was holding burst into flames.

He laughed as his coworkers rushed to grab the fire extinguisher. An older man with pressed pants and a silky red vest (who he assumed was the manager) came storming out of nowhere shortly after, his face red as a beet as he yelled at Don.

"Alright, you know what? Hang up your uniform, Don. You're fired!"

The look of shock on Don's face was priceless. "Wha- but it wasn't my fault!"

"I don't care!" The manager yelled. "You've had way too many accidents and called off way too many times for me to be tolerant anymore! You're fired!"

A few of his coworkers snickered while the nearby customers looked on in shock and surprise, Kai and Caroline being two of them (though he was probably the only one munching on a dinner roll as though it were a dine-in theater).

"What did you do?!" Caroline shrieked, eyes wide as she spun around from the sad sight to face him.

Kai didn't miss a beat, carrying on as though it were the most natural thing in the world. "Mm, fun fact! I found out that anything Bonnie touches actually leaves a magical imprint on it!" He pulled out an assortment of small things from his pocket, ranging from pennies to bobby pins to wrinkled pieces of paper. "I've been stockpiling all the stuff she's handled and using them to siphon magic for emergencies."

"Wha- emergency?! You've _caused_ an emergency!"

"Oh, please, it's just a little fire." He said idly, waving a hand and taking another bite of his dinner roll. "You gonna dig in, or what? Don't let your appetizer get cold."

"Congratulations, you have officially _ruined_ our anniversary."

He squinted playfully at her. "'Ruined', or made better? I'd like to think I just spiced things up a bit."

"Urghh!"

"Can we please just focus on the fact that I would literally _fire_ a guy for you? Like, _literally_ set on fire? Can we appreciate that?"

Caroline looked down at the table, suddenly exhausted as she cradled her head between her hands. "Ugh, Kai...what am I going to do with you?"

He popped another piece of roll into his mouth, smiling. "Love me, feed me, never leave me." He reached over and affectionately patted her cheek. "Happy anniversary, sweetie."

A replacement waiter came explaining what they already knew, and Caroline could only roll her eyes.

This was going to be a long dinner.


	15. Not-So-Thanksgiving

**A/N: 08/24/2017 This one's long (probably the longest tbh) but I hope you have the patience to finish it X'D**

 **Guest : Omg that's a great idea. I'll try an put something together for a jealous!Klaus Kairoline oneshot ;)**

 **FanFicNerdMeep : Haha aww I'm glad I was able to make Kai melt your heart a little XD**

 **TheConjuringMind : Hey thanks! You've got me in the mood to watch that movie again! **

**Dare to be Something More : Yeah Kai is cute in his own awkward, twisted way. I actually got the "Love me, feed me, never leave me" quote from the Garfield movie, haha but I'm glad you thought it fit Kai XD That's an excellent question! And it actually gives me an idea for an aging Kairoline oneshot. **

**Dark Goddess2000: Woah! Glad to know I did a good job then! Thanks!**

 **CandyJMF83 : Omg I'm freaking out too! I am SO excited for Caroline to show up in TO! 2018 cannot come fast enough!**

 **It's me: Haha good! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter fifteen: Not-So-Thanksgiving~

* * *

Kai stood in the Forbes' kitchen, tending to the plethora of things he had cooking on the stove.

It was Thanksgiving, and he had volunteered to cook everyone dinner (though granted, it did take some convincing on Caroline's part to let the others allow him to cook for them...you know. Without worrying about being poisoned). So far things were going well, and within just a few hours, everyone would be sitting down at the table to enjoy the meal he'd prepared them. So far everyone who had been invited was present, though Alaric had yet to show.

"Hey, so, when _exactly_ are we gonna get to eat?"

Kai resisted the urge to roll his eyes as Stefan came from around the corner. The day wasn't even half over yet and he was already whining. But, Kai knew better than to voice his opinion in front of an irritated Salvatore.

"Hello, _Steven_ ," he greeted curtly, not sparing him a glance as he tended to the gravy and noodles.

"So what's the deal, what do we got cooking here?" The chiseled vampire asked, walking closer and peeking over his shoulder.

Kai smirked, finally turning to face him. "Remember that chocolate soufflé I made for Caroline's birthday last month?"

Stefan twisted his mouth, thinking. "...Oh yeah, that was-"

" _Rat_ puke compared to what I have planned! Remember the crêpes I made for Fourth of July?"

"Yeah, those were-"

" _Crap_ compared to what we're having tonight! Don't think of this as a meal. This is gonna be like eating the Mona Lisa."

Stefan glanced back at the food cooking on the stove, clearly skeptical. "Mona Lisa, huh? I'll believe it when I taste it."

"You'll see," Kai said confidently. He placed a hand on the vampire's shoulder. "And when you do, you'll have no choice but to admit I'm a better cook than you."

Stefan looked at him with a somewhat annoyed expression, and Kai suddenly moved in for an awkward hug.

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm gonna have a family dinner again! I'm tearing up!"

He swiftly pulled an object out of Stefan's back pocket as the Salvatore pushed him away, who could only shake his head before walking off to the living room.

Damon came around the corner shortly after, bottle in hand, looking bored and irritated as ever to be around him. "Okay, Pork Rind, what's the deal with-"

"Damon! Just the undead guy I was looking for!"

Damon froze, blinking a few times as though he hadn't quite heard that right. "Come again?"

"You like me, right?" He asked.

The vampire took a swig of his drink. "Nope. Can't say that I do."

Kai's expression darkened, smile disappearing. "You _fear_ me, right?"

Damon shrugged, shaking his head and taking another swig of his bottle. "Nah. Not in the long run."

Kai rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Here." He reached out and handed him the thing he'd stolen from Stefan, showing it to him as though he were talking to a child. "This is Stefan's wallet. I want you to use the money in it to buy these ingredients."

He gave Damon the wallet and a piece of paper with the names of various herbs and spices written on it.

"And...why _exactly_ would I want to betray my own brother and go on this little goose hunt for you?" He asked, brows raised as he cupped an ear to listen.

"Well because you get to keep whatever's left over." He said simply, gesturing to the Italian leather object.

The elder Salvatore stared at it for all of two seconds before making his decision. "Alright, I'm sold. Fork it over."

Kai tossed it to him and Damon gave a halfhearted salute as he stuffed it in his pocket.

"Right. Well...I guess I'm off to the wonderful world of Disney! Or as the adults call it: the grocery store."

Kai beamed. "Thaaanks! And don't forget to turn up the compelling. I'd like to get them for as cheap as possible."

"Cheap?" He echoed. "Pfft. Consider 'em free."

He walked out and Kai checked his watch, just as Caroline came storming around the corner.

"Okay, can you _please_ remind me why I invited _Damo_ -"

"Yeah yeah, don't care." He said, still looking at his watch. "It's time to take the cheesy potatoes out. Come on, help me."

He moved to the oven just as the timer began to go off, his cool demeanor quickly diminishing when he realized he was missing two very important things.

"Where are the oven mitts?!"

Caroline widened her eyes, surprised at his sudden outburst. "Wha- I don't know!"

"Well, the timer's going off and the potatoes need to come out!"

"Well hold on, let me help you look-"

"No!" He exclaimed, patience gone. "Those potatoes need to come out at _exactly_ three forty-five! Not three forty-six, not three forty-seven! Right! Now!"

Eyes burning with determination, Kai jerked down the oven door and-

"Kai- no!"

-screaming, grabbed hold of the potato dish with his bare hands.

"AAAAAAGH!"

Caroline's eyes went wide as dinner plates. "Oh my God!"

"AAAGH! QUICK!" He urged, jerking his head toward the table. "CLEAR A SPACE!"

She scrambled, slightly panicking as she looked over everything on the table to try and see what she could move. Kai quickly ran his eyes over the table, rolling them when he spotted the very things he'd been looking for to begin with.

"MOVE THE OVEN MITTS!"

Caroline swiped the oven mitts off the table with record speed as Kai set the potatoes down, hands burning to the point of numbness.

Silence engulfed the room, the only sound being that of Kai's labored breathing as he stared at the potato dish and Caroline stared at him, the oven mitts still awkwardly in her hands.

...

...

...

"Well," he said, craning his neck and straightening himself. "That went pretty smoothly."

Caroline cringed. "Do you...want some of my bloo-"

"No." He said, shaking his head. "I'll be fine. Just, um...go wait in the dining room. Tell everyone dinner's almost ready."

"Almost ready? But Damon-"

"Forget about him," he waved it off. "We'll have to start without him."

"Uh...o...okay."

The blonde vampire awkwardly shuffled out of the room, and Kai stood for a minute with his lips pursed as he tried to hide the hot, mildly tingly feeling in his hands. He would ask for Caroline's blood after he was done being a big boy.

He returned to the stove and awaited Damon's return with the spices, painstakingly preparing the remainder of the food.

* * *

Some odd amount of time later, everyone was present and seated in the Forbes' dining room, various dishes of food before them.

Damon was actually able to make it back in time, but by then, the ingredients he'd pocketed were next to useless. Which of course miffed the vampire, but he had his liquor so he didn't seem to mind all that much. _I'm used to wasting my time_ , he'd said.

Kai was the last to sit down, choosing the head of the table, an uncharacteristically serene smile on his face.

"So." He said cheerily. "Who wants to start off giving thanks?"

Everyone awkwardly looked around the table, trying to ignore the smoke coming up from beneath the endless gauze Kai had put on his hands.

"I'll start." Damon said, smirking.

Kai and Caroline exchanged looks, already knowing where this was headed.

"I am thankful for the endless disasters that keep plaguing this town and all the countless bad guys who want to kill my girlfriend. Because if all that stuff didn't happen, I wouldn't be the person I am today. "

He threw back his glass and gulped it down, slamming it unceremoniously onto the table.

"Yes, be very thankful for all those disasters and bad guys," Kai chimed. "Because without them, Elena would still have her head screwed on right and she wouldn't want anything to do with you."

Bonnie choked on her drink, either from laughing or just plain shock (maybe both), and an awkward silence filled the room.

"...Oh-kay," Caroline chuckled nervously. "Uh, maybe we should skip the Thanks part and move on to the eating portion of the night-"

"No, no," Stefan said, sticking out an arm to silence her. "It's okay, Caroline. No need to try and make up for the truth." He held up his glass, staring at Damon. " _I_ am thankful...for my brother. For forcing me to make all the hard decisions, and without whom I would have never experienced heartbreak strong enough to last two lifetimes over."

He smiled, oddly cheerful for the topic of his speech, and Elena bowed her head in shame.

"I'd also like to thank him for _causing_ most of said decisions in the first place, and for doing everything he can to make my life miserable."

He took a sip from his glass, and Kai couldn't help but get the feeling there was more to this than met the eye. Something must have happened that no one else in the group knew about, because they were definitely missing something.

 _Did he know about the wallet?_ He thought.

Bonnie looked at everyone, a wide-eyed expression on her face. "Oh, wow...not sure how I can outdo _that_ one...uh, I'm thankful for my friends. Well, the ones who are still alive, anyways." She then muttered, "No thanks to _Damon_..."

Damon scowled, lifting a private flask to his lips. "Pack the bags, were goin' on a guilt trip."

Bonnie shrugged in an 'eh' sort of manner and sipped her drink, and Elena awkwardly spoke up. "Um, I- I'm thankful for my friends and family. Without you guys...I don't know where I would be."

"Probably dead." Kai answered, which earned him a not-so-discreet slap from Caroline. "Ow!"

"Don't. Even." She warned.

Turning back to her friends as though nothing had happened, she flashed a bright smile and held up her glass, and in a very 'Caroline Forbes' manner, started her speech. " _I_ am thankful for everything that has brought us to the point we're at now. And as... painful as it is, everything that we've been through that has made us into who we are...with the exception of Damon."

The vampire in question merely looked to the ceiling as he sipped from his flask, and she toasted to herself and took a drink.

Kai rolled his eyes at her over-the-top-ness, but held up his own glass nonetheless, though not without some difficulty due to his bandages. "And I'm thankful for the merge with my brother. Because if it weren't for that, there's no way in hell I'd be sitting here with you guys cooking you dinner." He smiled broadly, totally unaware of the awkward situation he'd just created. "And I guess you guys should all be thankful, too, I mean...if I didn't have the empathy left over from Luke I would've killed you all. Haha."

A long silence ensued, and without further ado, he announced, "Alright, everybody. Dig in!"

Happy to finally eat, everyone picked up their forks and prepared to grab their helpings-

 _CRASH!_

Without warning, two bodies crashed through the wall and onto the table, little more than a blur as they landed right on all of the food Kai had painstakingly been working on all day.

"Hey, guys," Alaric greeted awkwardly, his fist curled around the collar of a vampire they'd never seen before. "Sorry I'm late."

Everyone was so shocked, no one said anything, they could only stare as the sight of Alaric Saltzman beating up a vampire atop their dining room table filled their vision. Caroline was the first to break from her trance, and her Shock quickly made way for anger.

"Alaric?! What the hell?!"

Alaric looked apologetically at her, shaking his head in his usual I-don't-know-what-else-to-do manner. "Caroline, I am so sorry. I can explain-"

His words were cut short as the vampire beneath him punched him in the face, and they sped off of the table and tumbled through the rest of the house, leaving everyone in pure and utter shock.

"Well, there goes another would-be thanksgiving," Damon remarked, lifting his eyebrows and chugging down the rest of his booze.

"Yep." Stefan agreed, downing his own drink.

Caroline looked carefully at Kai, knowing how angry he must've been that all of his hard work on their dinner had gone to waste. A deadly silence ensued as they sat there before all of the smushed food and crushed dinner plates.

She was beginning to wonder whether or not to just leave and help Alaric, when suddenly:

"...Could you pass the salt, please?"

* * *

 **A/N: I got the idea for this oneshot from S5E4 of Malcolm In The Middle, Thanksgiving. It's hilarious, and I highly recommend you watch the episode XD**


	16. Step Aside, Whipper-Snapper!

**A/N: 09/06/2017 Dare to be Something More brought up that Kai is mortal and would therefore eventually age and die, so I wrote a little something based around that fact.**

 **HCookie : Oh I know, and I'm sure he would've if he didn't have Luke's humanity and Caroline hadn't been there. Glad you enjoyed it!**

 ****EDIT**10/13/2017: Thanks to HCookie and Dare to be Something More, I've edited this chapter to include a quick convo/explanation about why Kai can't just turn into a vampire to avoid dying, while cutting other parts out. It crossed my mind while writing this chapter but I didn't think to go into detail about it for some reason, haha.**

 **Dislcaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter sixteen: Step Aside, Whipper-Snapper!

* * *

"This is NOT good!"

Kai sat boredly on the arm of their hotel's couch as Caroline frantically paced back and forth. They were traveling to the beach - because why not? It was their anniversary - and had stopped at a hotel to rest for the night (well, for Kai to rest. Caroline could probably drive all night and never get tired). They had been together for over twenty years now, surprising everyone including himself with the fact; he never would have guessed that he'd be able to hold onto someone like Caroline Forbes for so long, or that she would still want anything to do with him when he was getting older and she wouldn't age for eternity. Still, it was funny watching her freak out more and more the older he got.

"Did you SEE the way that girl at the front desk looked at us when we asked for a suite? Did you SEE that?"

Kai paid her no mind as he inspected his nails. "Calm down, it's not that big a deal."

She stopped pacing, whirling around to face him with her hands out as though trying to demonstrate just _how_ big of a deal this actually was. "I'm serious, Kai! What are we gonna do when you hit fifty? Sixty? How are we gonna handle that?!"

"Oh, my dearest Clarice," he cooed, pouting at her as though she were a baby. "Unbeknownst to you, I already thought of a solution to this little hiccup years ago."

She merely looked at him with a puzzled expression, so he continued.

"For right now, we're good. People will just think I'm rich and you're a sleazy gold digger after my money-" she gave him a look. "-but once I hit fifty, you'll quit being my 'missus' to everyone else and suddenly become my hot daughter."

She crossed her arms. "And when you hit sixty and _beyond_ and _I_ still haven't aged a day?"

"Then you'll be my _super_ hot _granddaughter_ , who I constantly have to ward horny teenagers off of." He said simply, smiling as he got up from the couch and walked over to her.

"And when you _die_ and _I'm_ all alone planning the funeral?" She asked, expression somewhat desperate.

His smile faltered a bit, seeing just how distraught she was ( _did her voice just crack...?_ ), but it didn't totally disappear, either. "Well...in _that_ case...then I expect the fanciest, most expensive tombstone compelling can buy."

He reached up to cup her face but she smacked his hand away, frustrated tears coming to her eyes. "I'm serious, Kai! What am I supposed to do when you die? We've been together twenty-one years and it only feels like a day! It's all going by too fast and before I know it you'll be slipping through my fingers in a hospital room on life support with doctors breathinig down my neck asking me to pull the plug!"

 _Okay,_ that _was vivid_.

"Ugh, if you would just let me _turn_ you-"

"Woah, woah, woah," Kai interjected, waving a hand to cut her off. "We've already been over this, I am _not_ turning into a vampire."

"But why not?" She practically whined. "It would solve all our problems!"

"Because, 'dearest', I don't want to go through the painstaking process of flunking how-not-to-kill-people 101. Miserably."

They had been over this a thousand times over the past twenty or so years, and every time it ended the same: with Caroline pissed and Kai _not_ a vampire. He had already expressed his concerns with her long ago, about how he feared that if he turned he would like the power too much, and that coupled with the insatiable bloodlust, his humanity would slip, the world would be screwed and he would be lost forever. _Oh, but I'm sure that won't happen_ , Caroline would say. _You'll be fine. You've got me to help you_. Which was true. And Caroline was a good teacher. But he wasn't about to take his chances on a 'that probably won't happen' hunch from his significant other.

Caroline deflated, well aware of how this conversation was going to turn out, and decided quit before she got ahead of herself.

Kai stared at her. It hurt him to see her like this, it really did, but he was set in his ways on the topic of vampirism. Aside from the possibility of becoming a super-powered version of his former self, he also worried about the possibility of eternity. _Forever_. And then some. He didn't like the idea of committing to something so long term (and beyond) if somewhere down the road Caroline was just going to end up leaving him anyway, and he genuinely feared the thought.

There were a hundred more reasons, of course, but those were the top two. Not that Caroline would ever know. No sense in worrying her perfect little blonde head about it. He would much rather enjoy his time on earth as it was, and die a normal, human-ish death without having to worry about 'what if's and 'what could have been's. He was with this beautiful, neurotic, bubbly blonde vampire _right_ now. And like hell if he was going to waste it.

"Hey..." he said gently, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin atop her head. "Everybody dies. Even vampires at some point or other."

Caroline huffed, sniffling a bit. "I _know_ , but..."

"Shhh..." He cooed.

"But...what are we going to _do?_ " She asked, exasperated. "I've gone through every possible scenario that doesn't involve vampirism and none of them end with you being alive."

"Well," he said, swaying with her a bit. "We'll just have to make the best of the time we've got. And we're _sure_ as hell not gonna be wasting it worrying about stupid stuff. Like...like the _future_. Yuck."

They stayed silent for a while after that, just standing with their arms locked around each other swaying side to side a bit. Kai knew that nothing he said could really fix her worries, but he also knew that he probably hadn't said enough to quell them either. "Look," he said. "You can't change the fact that there's life and death in the world. I mean the whole natural order of things is that we live and die."

"I know, but...we're not _natural!_ " She argued, pulling away to look at him. "We're... _vampires_ , and... _werewolves_ , and _witches_ and _hybrids!_ There should be something we can do about it!"

"Well, maybe there is," he said, shrugging his lips a bit. "But until then, we'll just have to live every day like it might be our last."

He lifted a hand up to pull back a strand of her hair, smiling when she didn't.

"I love you to death. You know that, right?"

She rolled her eyes, but he was still able to get a smile. "Ugh, poor choice of words!"

"Okay, so we're gonna live life to the _fullest_ , right?" He asked, looking at her as though she were a little kid. "And we're not gonna freak out about things we can't control, _riiight?_ "

She closed her eyes and nodded.

He lifted a finger and playfully tapped her nose. "Boop! Problem solved! Any other mental-breakdowns or moral dilemmas you'd like to discuss?"

Caroline's mouth opened and closed several times, trying to find another problem but coming up with none. "Well...I...no, actually."

She sounded amazed even at herself, and Kai flashed a wide grin as he held out his arms in a grand gesture.

"Great! Now let's go make out. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

She rolled her eyes but smiled and followed him to the bedroom.


	17. First Class

**A/N: 11/08/2017 Was rummaging through my old notes and realized I had a few more Kairoline oneshots written, so I figured what the heck I'm updating!**

 **This was inspired by a prompt I found on Tumblr, which you can find at the end of this chapter.**

 **Dare to be Something More : Thanks! In my mind, Jo's kids were still alive, but I guess I could've specified that in the chapter. Ah well. Hope you like this one!**

 **Guest : Yeah there's just something about this pair that makes you go: "Whaaat no way...let's check it out." Lol. Got a few more in store, so hopefully you like 'em :)**

 **Dislcaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter seventeen: First Class~

* * *

Caroline huffed as she adjusted her seatbelt, trying to get comfortable.

Damon had found something to help with their latest earth-crushing, future-hangs-in-the-balance problem, which happened to be in Scotland. Caroline had volunteered to travel there because everyone else was occupied with other problems and she wanted to explore and have some alone time for once. Unfortunately for her, that didn't actually end up happening the way she'd wanted.

Ah, she remembered it well:

 _"Okay, so someone's gotta go to Scotland to pick up this doo-hicky thing. Who's up for it?" Damon set down the sheet of age-old parchment paper with a drawing of the device on the table._

 _"I can't, I need to stay and look after the protection barrier I placed, make sure it doesn't get tampered with by outside forces." Bonnie had said._

 _"And I've got a lead in Ohio," Stefan had said._

 _"I need to see Jeremy and make sure he's okay," came Elena's response._

 _"Well...I'll do it." Caroline announced, stepping forward._

 _And with that, Kai's head peeked out from around the corner._

 _"I'll come!" He had said, overhearing their conversation._

And just like that, here they were, on a midnight flight to mother- _freaking_ -Scotland together. Except for the fact that they weren't actually together. Why? Because Kai had somehow gotten himself a first-class ticket. How? She had no idea. But at this point she knew better than to ask.

Her phone buzzed, and she irritably took it out of her pocket to read the message waiting for her. Darn wi-fi messaging.

 _It really is a shame you're not in first class. They have amazing mamosas up here. Lots of flavors._

Ugh. It wasn't enough that he was rows and rows ahead of her. He had to rub it in, too.

 _Oh shut up_ , she texted back.

She rolled her eyes and put her phone down, only to have it buzz a moment later.

 _Ooh strawberry!_

Caroline glared at her screen, pursing her lips. Ugh! That insufferable little-

"Do you need anything, ma'am?" The flight attendant asked, smiling down at her.

"...Yes, actually!" She beamed. "I think you put me in the wrong seat."

The attendant frowned. "Hmm. That's odd. May I see your ticket?"

Caroline made direct eye contact with her, tone determined. "You don't need to see my ticket. I lost it getting onto the plane and your company is willing to move me up to first class to make up for the inconvenience."

The attendant smiled, blinking a few times as she rose to her full height. "Right this way, ma'am."

Caroline happily got up from her seat and followed the attendant up to first class.

"Sit wherever you like, ma'am," she said. "We're sorry for the inconvenience."

"Thank you!" She beamed, spotting the back of Kai's head. He was munching away on a bag of chips and taking a sip of his mamosa.

She walked up to him and paused just shy of his eyesight, a smug smile on her lips.

"Excuse me sir, is this seat taken?"

He paused mid-chew and looked at her, cheeks stuffed with potato chips. His eyes widened, and Caroline swiftly sat down next to him and crossed her legs, leaning on the arm rest to smirk at him.

"...Ohhh, Clarice!" He said affectionately, swallowing. "I'm so glad you're here! I was saving that seat for you-"

" _Can_ it, witch-boy," she said, turning her head away and rolling her eyes. She took his drink from his hand and took a sip. "Mmm, that _is_ good."

"Wow, you'd think you'd never had a mamosa before." Kai remarked.

Caroline squinted her eyes and smiled sarcastically. "And you'd think _you'd_ never had decent manners before."

"So nice to know you think of me."

"Shut up."

She took another sip of his drink and set it down, letting her anger subside now that she was finally in first class and not next to a bunch of snoring slobs and crying kids.

"I wondered how long it would take before you bumped yourself up to first class. So how'd you get up here, anyway?"

She rolled her eyes as she looked at him with a deadpan expression. "How do you _think?_ "

He grinned, shaking his head. "That is _so_ hot that you'd compel someone to get to me."

She leaned her head back against her seat and stared up at the ceiling. "Ugh..."

"No, really. I find it very attractive."

"Would you please just... _shut_ up for one _second?_ I'm getting a headache..."

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, wishing the damn plane would just _land_ already.

Kai set aside his chips and angled himself towards her. "Well, here, I can help with that."

Eyes still closed, she brought out a hand to stop him. "No, please, I just nee-"

Her words froze in her throat as she felt hands on either side of her head, and her eyes burst open as she felt him begin to siphon her. At first she panicked, remembering the handful of times he'd siphoned her before, back when he'd been...less friendly. But this was different. This was more of a gentle pressure being seeped out of her than the hard, forceful pain she'd been used to associating with being siphoned.

She looked at Kai, whose eyes were closed in concentration, completely shell-shocked at what he was doing for her. A few moments passed and Kai removed his hands, releasing Caroline and opening his eyes to stare at her. She absentmindedly rubbed her head, surprised to find that her oncoming headache had disappeared.

"Feel better?" He asked.

Caroline looked at him, somewhat speechless. "I...yeah...actually. Thanks."

He beamed. "You're welcome."

A long pause went by and she began to feel bad for being angry at him for getting a better seat than her. She opened her mouth to apologize, but was beat to the punch by Kai. He yawned and stretched, eyes droopy with tiredness.

"Well, I think I'm gonna turn in for the night. That siphoning business takes a lot more energy than you'd think."

"Yeah..." she agreed quietly, still caught up on the fact that he'd helped her even though he'd been an ass every other time they got stuck together.

"Well. Night-night." He said, curling up in his seat a bit and resting his head on her shoulder.

Caroline hesitantly rested her head against his, staring at the cloth backing of the seat in front of her.

"I'm glad you came up here," Kai sighed sleepily, snuggling into her a bit. "It's nice to feel wanted..."

Caroline angled her head in his direction. "Yeah..." she whispered, suddenly understanding.

She closed her eyes and they slept.

* * *

 **A/N: OTP Idea #12 by otpisms: Your OTP is traveling to one of their home countries by plane. They weren't seated next to each other, it's really late and neither have fallen asleep. They resort to texting to talk to each other.**

 **Bonus points for if they try to sneak to some open seats to sit next to each other but get noticed by a flight attendant.**

 **So yeah Kai ran to the front of the plane to get Caroline to chase after him. Kind of a silly idea but I thought it was cute and fun to write. I've got a Christmas-themed idea to post next!**


	18. Oh Look, Makeout! I Mean Mistletoe!

**A/N: 12/19/2017 The as-promised Christmas oneshot! :D**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

Chapter eighteen: Oh, Look, Makeout! I Mean Mistletoe!~

* * *

Caroline walked from the kitchen of her home to the hallway, texting on her phone.

It was Christmastime, and she was dressed in festive (but tasteful) attire, consisting of red and green candy cane leggings and a wooly sweater. She had entrusted the decorations to Kai, as it was his first real Christmas outside of his prison world, and though part of her worried, she knew he'd be alright...except maybe when it came to the lights.

She had just rounded the corner when something green and scratchy brushed against her forehead.

"Ow, what the hell?"

She looked up, seeing the ever familiar little green leaves and red berries hanging from the ceiling. Kai turned the corner, a huge smile on his face, arms draped in various wreaths and Christmas lights for what she could only assume was the tree in the living room. He raised his arms.

"Ta-daaa! It's mistletoe! See?"

Caroline paused, the space between her eyebrows creasing in confusion as she noticed the trail of mistletoes strung all throughout the house.

"Oh-kaaaay...but why are there so many?"

He shrugged. "Just a precaution in case you try and back out of it."

Her eyebrow rose. "Is that really necessary?"

He stepped closer, tilting his head. "Only in every sense of the word, yeah."

He came closer, so close that Caroline had to take a step back.

"Wha-"

Kai gave her a quick peck on the lips, cutting her off. She sputtered and stumbled back, and Kai glanced above her head with a fake 'oh look!' expression.

"Oh no, ma'am! You seem to have stumbled beneath a mistletoe!"

Confused, Caroline looked up, and lo and behold, there hung another damned mistletoe. She gasped, holding up a finger at him as though he were a dog.

"Don't you da-"

He swooped forward and kissed her, fingers delving past her curls and brushing against her neck, and she was acutely aware of the decorations falling from his arms as he did so. He pushed her back a few steps, breaking away and looking up again.

"Oh- there's another one!"

She was about to say something but was once again cut off by his lips. He backed her up a few feet again, kissing her beneath each mistletoe as he steered her down the hallway until her back thumped against her bedroom door.

 _That sneaky little bastard_ , She thought. _He made a freaking mistletoe trail all the way to my room!_

She broke away from him and placed her hand on his chest to keep him at bay, a stern look on her face. "You planned this!"

He gave her a 'duh' look. "Uh, yeah. Doi. Me."

"This is totally underhanded. You know that, right?"

"Yyyyep."

She crossed her arms. "Not to mention sneaky."

"Mmhm."

"And _wrong!_ "

"Oh, please, spare me the lecture," he drawled, rolling his eyes. "As if I haven't heard _that_ one before."

Caroline huffed, exasperated. "Y- yeah, well _you_ just...just..."

Kai stared at her with his eyebrows raised, patiently awaiting her retort.

"You..."

His eyebrows rose even higher (if that were possible), and finally having had enough, she said, "Oh, shut up and kiss me!"

She grabbed the back of his head and pulled him to her, and his eyes went wide in surprise as she opened the door and dragged him into her room.

* * *

 **A/N: OTP idea #10 by otpisms on Tumblr:** **Person A hanging 3 pieces of mistletoe in literally every room of their house because they need excuses to kiss Person B.**

 **So yep, there it is. I hope you guys weren't disappointed with the shortness of it, I just thought it would be a cute little idea to put down into writing.**

 **Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely December 25th. See you soon! (Well hopefully) :)**


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